Well I guess I don't need the answer to this anymore. My girlfriend contacted me tonight for the first time since the 28th of November. I knew she would eventually but didn't know when it would happen. She was asking if I could find out something for her from my work and she has a couple friends there she could've asked because she used to work there too. So I think the call was more of a feeler to see if I would respond. We only talked for about 5 minutes, but it was good to hear from her. Now it is the waiting game to see when I hear from her again. So for those of you out there that wonder if they will ever come back or talk to you, they will. If you love them and want to be with them don't give up on them. Honestly I think they need us more than they let us know but are afraid. I will still be visiting here and not giving up on this forum. We need to keep it going. Because I know give it a while and she will disappear again. We all need to support each other even when things are good because we are the ones that get lost in this mental illness in a way.

Wow, I would be so worried. 6 weeks is such a long time to not know if they are ok! I'm always waiting for a call that my husband has been arrested or to come identify a body when we are not communicating. I'm glad you heard from her and she is ok. You're stronger than me, but I worry about everyone.

It is tough for sure. But I work at a hospital that she used to work at and she gets seen here for appointments and her old co workers tell me when she has been in, if she stops by. So I have a little connection.

Got more information from her yesterday. She texted me saying sorry for being an asshole the past 6 weeks and said she could've said Merry Christmas and Happy New Years but is very depressed right now and missed two weeks of work without pay. I knew she was very depressed, just wish she would let me be there for her when this happens. She even friended me on Facebook last night and she had unfriended me a year or so ago for some reason. I was shocked to say the least. She even said she is trying to get her mind together one of these days if I'm still around for her. I told her I'm not going anywhere and I'm always there for you. She then replied that's why you are special to me because you are always here, always. So yesterday was a good day.

Glad to hear she is trying to takecare of herself and contacting you again. Communicating is key for any relationship, especially when bp is in the mix. The fb thing is shouldn't seem like a big thing but I get it. I have been unfriended and blocked by my husband because he got mad at me for something a few months ago.

Yes communication is key. She actually let me help her out today. I asked if there was anything I could do to help and she asked if I could pick up some groceries for her since she is having trouble leaving the house. So it was so nice seeing her. She told me she missed me and she even let me hold her when I saw her. It has been a great day.

I have a similar situation, it's comforting to read these posts and not feel like I'm the only one. My fiancé of nearly 11 yrs started acting strange, going out a lot, getting really angry at me for no reason and would come home and just look at me blankly and say nothing. Acting very cold and unemotional toward me, I didn't understand at all what was going on. He moved out and told me he couldn't see this working. We have a baby on the way and were meant to be building a house on land we had just bought. Seemed like he was freaking out about the baby, and had work stress etc. thought he just needed space, friends and family tried talking to him but everyone found he was acting really weird and cold. I was away a lot of weekends too because my dad was dying. Anyway he told me a week after my dad's funeral that he was seeing another girl at his work, he's 30 and she's 23, apparently knows about the baby. He wanted me to just 'get rid of it' at 12 weeks, then he started pressuring me to move interstate to live with my mum. He's very up and down in his emotions, telling me he hates himself and regrets what he's done to me, crying, sounding suicidal at times, calling me at odd hours. He called one morning at 630am very paranoid saying he'd been called into a meeting with senior management and what had I been saying. It was a strange phone call and never heard anything about it again.
He has agreed to see a psychiatrist, but continues to go on as if he has no intention of coming back. When I look back he was always very impulsive and at times over excited and talkative and sometimes down but nothing as extreme as this. I'm just really scared of being a single mother, wish I could know whether he will come back...

shell-bell, I feel your pain. What I have figured out is change scares the heck out of them. My girl and I were buying a house together. We put an offer in on one that got accepted, she was so excited, telling everybody about it that weekend. Telling her AA sponsor how I'm always there for her and her son and guys like me almost never come along. Then Monday she breaks up with me. Cancelled the contract on the house and nothing happened other than being afraid of the change. 2016 was a difficult year for us as she really struggled all year with her meds and depression. Her dr has finally referred her to a trauma center and I'm praying that really helps her come up with some coping skills. In your situation I see you have 2 things going against you. Building a new house and a baby on the way. I see that as a double whammy of stress and change for him. Somebody like you and me we might have stress dealing with that but at the same time we'd be happy. For individuals diagnosed bipolar this added stress gets their heads spinning. One thing I noticed that helped us so far is after my girl broke up with me over the house, I continued and found another house that I bought that was 95% what we wanted vs us settling on one we liked. Since I've bought the house we had a 6 week spell of being together vs 2 weeks. Yes she still disappeared for 5 weeks again but she is back again. Unfortunately I don't know how to make your situation easier since you already have the land but I think the house is the biggest stresser for him right now. Hang in there. I'm pretty sure he will come around again and be back. When it comes to this other girl he's seeing, my guess is it is a way to try to forget about you but he can't. My girl has dated in our times apart and she always comes back. They know who is there for them in my opinion. I know it sucks to know or think they are with someone else but really nothing you can do but decide for yourself what you want to do. Hope this helps.

Thanks for your response - helps a lot! Felt like I was going crazy and couldn't understand his behaviour, it seemed so drastic and erratic. It was when I counsellor I was seeing because of all this suggested he see a psychiatrist because a lot of his behaviour sounded like bipolar.
He wants to just sell the land, he's just throwing money away. Left our place with just his clothes, has walked away from literally everything, even our dogs which he loved. He's saying financially things aren't great for him, don't understand how that could be on his salary.
It's been almost 3 months now of this up and down behaviour - depression, anger, crying every time I see him. Can this go on for months?

Yes unfortunately this can go on for months. :-( My girlfriend has had this going on since Christmas 2015. I've even had 2 5 weeks spells where I didn't hear from her. The depression they suffer completely shuts them down severely from what I've noticed. My girlfriend has finally been referred to a mental health trauma center that she is looking forward to getting into. I can't wait. And I pray it really helps her.

Wow it's a lot to go through. Did you also find at times her to be very cold and distant? Very unemotional. When he first moved out he told me to just move on and date someone else, even though I'm pregnant and we'd been together 11 yrs and planned the pregnancy, had our future planned out, he said it like it was nothing.

Something I found that works is to ask that they just read a message so you can see they read it, just so I know they are alive. Like in Facebook Messenger or if you can see if they open an email. They don't have to respond, just let you know they are still going. The message should be short and sweet or neutral.

Sorry Shell but yes I believe they all get cold and distant, even make up BS excuses why they are leaving you. They get cold, distant and make up BS excuses.

Escape I agree and wish at the time of my girlfriends disappearances we would've been friends on Facebook, but she just refriended me on facebook after a year. So my only saving grace was being able to drive by her apartment from a distance and see if her car had moved. I did however message her vie text or e-mail a couple of times during that time just so she knew I was thinking about her.