I know how you feel. Mine told me a week or so that. She isn't my girlfriend and she thinks she is leading me on and that she doesn't want to be responsible for leading me on. But for 3 weeks she is telling me she wants to have a talk with me she promised me when she gets her ideas together, if I'm still here. Wants me to send her some pics of me. Wants me to get her a dog at my house and other things. So everything she is telling me she wants to be with me. The next day after she said that she wasn't my girlfriend she texted me saying she doesn't know why she goes numb towards people. Our communication has been very slow to say the least, but at least she is communicating. She has finally gotten into DBT Therapy and I really hope that can help her. My therapist agrees that she wants to be with me, but the depression is too much to handle and actually be in a relationship. I really wish she would just lean on my shoulder during these times and let me be there for her.

Enough to drive a person crazy with all the back and forth. I have messaged him 2 times. Once to reschedule visit for last month, and once to tell him to stop telling our kids stupid shit. The last one was not very friendly but I am tired of that stuff. And when he is taking care of himself he doesn't do that.
I am nervous about this weekend visit. Just never sure which way it's going to go. I am anticipating that I'm going to hear the doesn't want to be here just because of the lack of contact. Could also just be feeling shitty because he failed to follow through with Christmas with me and the kids. Hard saying.

I know what you mean. :-( I know this time of year doesn't help. I just wish there was more we could do for our loved ones. I know mine knows I love her and will always be there for her. I did get her the dog she wanted last week and then she says she was joking. I was proud of myself though on that response from her. I told her "No you weren't, you told me where to get one" Took her an hour to reply to that LOL. I've learned standing up to her is important and just can't be afraid to hurt her feelings. Unfortunately in her state she doesn't know what she wants, but I think she knows she wants to be with me but afraid of being with me for some reason. I do have to agree with you that they do feel shitty when they disappear or don't follow through with things and are afraid to reinitiate contact. Like Sunday she had been stand offish for the last week but she texted me asking if by chance I could help her get groceries up to her apartment. And of course I did and I brought her puppy over to meet her. She loved seeing him. She will get better even if I just have to wait till spring and just keep being there for her when she needs me. Only time will tell.

Good luck to you. You are very optimistic. Me not so much, but there's the kids and I have been at this a very long time. It gets frustrating doing and doing, and it not going in the right direction. Like I said well see.

Yes we will. I've been at this just over a year. I'm only happy that she is communicating just a little bit. But I can see she still isn't well. It is very frustrating.