Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
How do you help them keep their stress levels down? And keep your own sanity?
I ask because stress can push my mum over into mania and psychotic episodes. And she tends to stress out very easily over things. And sometimes they are things that she shouldn't even worry about. And sometimes it's something that is quiet stressful but can be solved. But she works her self up.
Battling my own anxiety and depression means I don't cope well with stress at all either. And even when I can see a solution to my mums problem I worry because I am scared her stressing will end up causing her to have an episode.
So I stress about her going psychotic and I don't know what I should do to try and prevent it.
I feel a little guilty posting at the moment because my mum has been doing very well for months now (something I am sooooooo grateful for) but she has some big money issues at the moment and while she has been doing well and trying to organise things for herself (Ways to pay of debt and incoming bills etc). It is causing her stress; so I start to have anxiety about her getting sick because of it.
I have lent her what money I could but we don't have a lot with our own bills and I only work one day (maybe two) due to my own anxiety problems...so I can't help her more in that area then I have. I wish I had more money. It seems like that would fix a lot of things. Her biggest problems are caused by debt she got into due to her first manic/psychotic episode and not being able to work; meaning she barely has enough money coming in to pay her bills.
Thoughts?
I ask because stress can push my mum over into mania and psychotic episodes. And she tends to stress out very easily over things. And sometimes they are things that she shouldn't even worry about. And sometimes it's something that is quiet stressful but can be solved. But she works her self up.
Battling my own anxiety and depression means I don't cope well with stress at all either. And even when I can see a solution to my mums problem I worry because I am scared her stressing will end up causing her to have an episode.
So I stress about her going psychotic and I don't know what I should do to try and prevent it.
I feel a little guilty posting at the moment because my mum has been doing very well for months now (something I am sooooooo grateful for) but she has some big money issues at the moment and while she has been doing well and trying to organise things for herself (Ways to pay of debt and incoming bills etc). It is causing her stress; so I start to have anxiety about her getting sick because of it.
I have lent her what money I could but we don't have a lot with our own bills and I only work one day (maybe two) due to my own anxiety problems...so I can't help her more in that area then I have. I wish I had more money. It seems like that would fix a lot of things. Her biggest problems are caused by debt she got into due to her first manic/psychotic episode and not being able to work; meaning she barely has enough money coming in to pay her bills.
Thoughts?
-
I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
-
Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
As someone with BP I can give you perhaps a slightly different perspective.
It's true stress can be a trigger for bipolar but it tends to be the really major stress, divorce, bereavement or ongoing stress like work pressure. Often it's actually the lack of sleep rather than the stress itself.
You say your mother works herself up easily - if that is different from how she has been that suggests that the elevated mood is actually driving her to work herself up, create her own stress.
That's perhaps subtle difference but the inference is that you probably can't do much to stop her being stressed.
Easy to say, and I've said it before, you are not responsible for her health. If she is getting sick encourage her to see a doctor, meds can stop these cycles and her stress and anxiety.
And as I've said before, you are taking alot on, that's ok that's your decision but what support are you getting? Are you able to get professional support for yourself, a therapist or counsellor?
Money is a very major stress for my mum so thats why I worry
She actually is still acting very normal thank goodness. Everything still seems okyet I am still scared. I really hate that I cant do anything to stop it. The constant threat hanging over me all the time. That she could have an episode is so hard to live with.
The money she was relying on to cover some bills and her car rego may not be coming now. She found out today. She seemed ok when I talked to her (angry but not over the top). And I said that we would cover the rego if we had to (not that we can afford it but Ill have to manage it). I just dont want to her to stress too much and make herself sick. I hope saying that will be enough to keep her calm.
As I have mentioned in posts before getting her to see a doctor and take medication is near impossible.
I dont really want to take it on at all. There have been so many times I have wanted to walk away. But there is no one else and when she has had episodes she has hurt people. Hurt herself. Messed up her life in some way. Last time she even started accusing my husband of stuff and he is the best human being I know. I cant risk her doing that stuff. I am so scared she will do that again and mess up our life; cause him trouble.
I cant afford professional support. I have tried but I just cant.
Thanks for your thoughts.