I can't trust him and it's been almost 30 years. He lies when it's easier to tell the truth. He also loves to be the victim. Like a big baby telling anyone who will listen how mean his wife is to him.

I have no trust in him whatsoever. It's so sad because for 16yrs I never had 1 doubt about anything. Not one thing. Now I don't ask him anything because no metter what his answer would be I wouldn't believe him. I hate it. On the other hand he hasn't done anything to show me I can trust him. But it is difficult since he is far away and I only see him on the weekends. I have to say at least he has been coming home every weekend. It was only for 5 hours last weekend but he showed. The mania is gone and the depression is starting I just hope he'll let me in to help him go through it and maybe get help. But the trust will take a long time to regain. I am with you on what kind of marriage is it if you can't trust the person u r with. It will take you a while. A lot of damage has been done and it wasn't like he did sopmething wrong for one day. He hurt you for a long time. I told my husband when I found out about the 1st affair, the myspace one, that it would take me at least 3 times the amout of time that he cheated on me. And it did. He was talking to her for 3 1/2 months and it took me 7 months to forgive him but by then it didn't matter he was already in mania and on his next affair.
I need to stop being in a good mood. I write to much!!!!

It is going to take a good bit of time to trust him after that. I don't think if I found a picture on my wifes phone of another mans privates that I would trust her in the slightest. She would have to start earning it back little by little. Without him seeking professional help to get on proper medication it is going to be real difficult in my opinion for him to get it under control. If he gets the help and he responds to the medicine then it may get easier. Sorry I wish I had a better answer for you. Right now the "Easy" button would be great but not in real life. We all here can only be here for you and help keep you strong.

Storiesmom- Wow, that sounds just like the situation I'm in!! He's constantly the "victim". It's amazing to me that if someone looks at him, just the "wrong" way he gets all mad and thinks they are out to get him. He takes EVERYTHING so personally I drives me crazy!!

Hurting-You need to be in a good mood!! Write as much as you want we are all here to listen and help each other. The more you right the more you get out!! :-)

My ex wasn't bp, but I was put in a similar situation, we had a fairly decent relationship for 11 years but then he kept talking about some girl at work, then I found some pictures of a girl on the computer so I checked his emails and he'd they'd been contacting each other for a while. My mum had only just passed away at the time so I really couldn't cope with being alone and I chose to believe him when he said they were just friends, but through the next year I was constantly doubting everything he told me, like you I tried to believe him but that nagging doubt is always on your mind and we were never really close again, I got so paranoid and I didn't like the person that he turned me into. He left a year later and then was living with her a few months after that but still expecting me to believe that he hadn't cheated on me.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this and wish that I could say something more hopeful, I just hope that things start to get easier for you soon because you really don't deserve it.