Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
I’ll try to shorten this as much as possible.
My mom has always had issues, bipolar as well as a lot of other mental illnesses. She can’t read or write well. My dad was the one who always took care of her/dealt with her when I was a teen and I was able to leave and get away. Now she’s living in a duplex with me because my dad has passed so I’ve taken all of his responsibilities. I pay her bills, I take her to appts, I do everything for her. She just demands I do this and that for her. I had to quit my job, stop my semester for college. She has no family nor do I. What do I do? How do I continue letting her treat me like a dog? It hurts because I know she acts this way because of mental illness and know that deep down somewhere she has to appreciate all that I sacrifice for her. I just want her to appreciate things. She’s always yelling at me about everything under the sun. I have to jump as soon as she calls. If she has an appt at 11 she will call from 9 on. 9, 9:30, 10 etc getting more angry as time passes. She never tells me when or where she needs to go. I’ll take her to an appt and she’ll say “you need to take me to ____ places too” last minute as we’re leaving the appt. I just don’t know what to do. The grief of my dad being gone and now me taking all these responsibilities is wearing me down. Someone has to relate so that I’m not alone? I can’t abandon her because I do love her. I do know she loves me. It’s her mental illness that makes her this way but how do I deal with this?
-
Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
-
Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I would talk to her doctor and ask him/her to refer you to a social worker in order to get some help
Maybe she could go to a day program during the day or there may be a group home that would be a good fit
This doesn't mean that you're abandoning her sweetie and I know how hard this is.... My mom had Alzheimer's
You are entitled to have a life and you should have your life as well
"If' she went to a group home for instance you can still take her out or bring her home for some weekends ya know
Take her out for lunch of dinner
Because someone has a mental illness it doesn't mean that they can be abusive either
People are held accountable for their behaviour in one way or another for their choices even with mental illness.... Having a mental illness doesn't mean you can treat other people badly nor should it
You shouldn't be abused and you shouldn't give up college.... I would start with being referred to a social worker
Big squishy hug.... I know that this is really hard.....xo
I love SunCloud's suggestions. I hope things work out & you find a way to get your life & some freedom back, bagheera.
I’m glad to know I am not the only one with the same dilemma. It is hard! Even if we had proper facilities in my country, I wouldn’t be able to afford it!
With my family they all were alcoholics, after years of ?...too long to write, I went to al-anon. I got sanity, I got support, I got boundaries. There is another organization called NAMI, it's for family members who have mental illness.
There are social service agencies which can provide a case manager for your parents/siblings...just look under dept of social services for your town/state. If your parents are not able to take care of themselves, or if they 'report you' being abusive to them, that is Not A Good Place To Be.
I separated myself from my family for a year to get my feet on the ground, to let them know I wasn't messing around...was it easy, No, did I miss them, Yes. Sometimes, even looking back I feel a sadness as they are no longer alive. I'm also grateful for them, all they taught me, especially '''resilience'''...I keep trying. I'm now back in Al-anon to learn how to detach from my son's behaviors, love him and find new boundaries for myself and my sanity...for my own health, I have to let go.