Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.

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/ Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

had enough

pie69
pie69

so my husband relapsed in july while i was 3000 miles away on vacation, my children whitnessed this had to call the police and make him return property etc.  He has been in several rehabls until yesterday when he decided to leave with a femail patient that he has know for i guess a month (counselors told me everyhting yesterday).  I filed for divorce a couple of weeks ago.  Seems like he will never be ready to give up that side of himself that he doesn't want to face, 22 years gone.  How do i rebuild of my kids, (one is 18 and the other is 12)? one male one female. THey were both sooo close to their dad.  This is the first time they have whitnessed anything this sever with his bipolar addiction.  He is now living in a hotel since yesterday (dump) with this women i guess not sure of all the facts.  Looking for some real truths and suggestions on this one.  I know i'm moving on but i know once this high wears off and the manic is gone, he will regret his choices and want to come back LAWD help us all.

beckyp
beckyp
Your husband has to be held accountable for his actions, but you said he had a "bipolar addiction". Bipolar is a disease of the brain chemistry. It is a physical illness and needs to be treated with meds and therapy. Sounds like he's not following through with his treatment.
pie69
pie69
He has been on meds and therapy since 2004 he constantly and secretly self medicated apparently
beckyp
beckyp
Self medicating and taking meds is not a good mix. No wonder he's having so many problems. It sounds like you are done with him, but I think you should tell him that his self medicating you think has caused many of his problems and you just can't take it anymore. Maybe he will want to change for the kids or not. It's up to him. He definitely needs help.
pie69
pie69
Over 21 years together, He has been self medication off and on forever i finally realized and accepted that fact, the women when we separate or he goes in rehab, its to much for me and as i said i'm DONE. I don't have bipolar and i feel for everyone that does. I can't begin to feel the way they do on a daily, hourly minute of the day. The issue is his struggle has now become mine and the kids, way to much. He doesn't seem to want better, i believe in my heart he wants to live that lifestyle forever. I also feel that our marriage has run its course and since he doesn't want to be the husband he promised its easier to just find some other women that has his issues and he can co exist with. The problem is, he will eventfully get sober and hate himself for all he has put us through and want to come back home, we won't be there this time and i will be divorced with or without him showing up. I pray for him daily but its time to let GOD lead me to a better life for me and the kids. GOD bless everyone with this disease, affliction and anyone with mental health and their families.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I would go to nar anon with your kids... It's for families of addicts.... It will help them to understand addiction and all that can go with it.... it will also give them the tools that they might need moving forward

Bipolar and addiction are two different illnesses that are coexisting in your husband...

His children will always be his children and hopefully he will get sober and be able to at some point mend some of these bridges with them.... For now I would help them gain some tools and understanding for themselves

If you're able to manage therapy that would be great but if not 12 Step programs are really good and people in family support really understand one another

Big hug.....xo
pie69
pie69
thank you for your reply, that's the first time i actually heard someone address the elephant in the room,
Bipolar and addiction are two different illnesses that are coexisting in your husband.

i will look up some programs to take my kids too, we also do counseling. There is a lot going on for us right now, we had a flood in our home so we are now displaced in a hotel, LORD please cover us, to much for my kids an me to handle. We heard from him but he is doing bad, i pray for him but there is nothing more i can offer.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Both Al anon and Nar anon are free.... Al anon is more for alcoholism however if there isn't a Nar anon close it's the same 12 steps

I know that addiction is an incredibly painful family disease.... I am really sorry that you're going through this

Bipolar is a very treatable disorder but the patient has to be part of the treatment in finding stability …..

You're doing the right thing taking care of you and your children....Another hug and a blessing.....xo

https://www.nar-anon.org/what-is-nar-anon
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