Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
My husband has been dealing with a mood disorder for years (at least as far back as 2006 and hints of it before then). Back when he was mean & manipulative, I was somehow able to flip a switch on to where I ignored him and didn't care about building our relationship. We just co-existed in my mind and this was how I managed to stay strong. Now that my husband has acknowledged his mistakes and how he treated me, we began to build on our relationship again. However, his moods are now back & forth with depression and it's seems like it's cyclical in nature. I keep trying to have hope that he is slowly getting better. But today he tells me he's depressed again, wants to quit therapy and stop taking meds all together. I feel like giving up on caring anymore because this tears me apart. Now that I care about our relationship I get sad and emotional when he gets like this. When I express that it makes me sad, it makes him worse. I feel weak. I no longer feel like I can stay strong. I just keep getting upset when he gets like this and I'm tired of crying. The only thing I know to do to help myself become strong again for my own emotional health is to not care. I feel so conflicted.
Anyway, do you know how amazing it is to have a man who wouldn't admit to his illness for years and then does??????
You have a right to create distance (physical and emotional) from him for a while. Can you stay somewhere? Call him if you are worried about him but tell him that you can't watch as he lets the disease ruin his life. He can't give in to it like he is and must take his meds and go to therapy. The disease distorts the mind and makes you think quitting is what you need whne it is the opposite. I am sure you know all of that.
Physical & emotional distance... I had once established this by throwing myself into fitness. I was at work and training more than I was home. I then established more of a balance in the past few months to be home more and enjoy spedning time with him more. However, I recently have noticed it's taking more of a toll on me. I have a new committment with a few of my girlfirends to start crossfit. I plan to take advantage of this time to get me through the next few months that will be stressful for both of us.
I still feel conflicted about not being home as much but I have to have faith that it's ok to find my balance so that I can stay strong.
On the positive side at least he is aware of his problems and past behavior. Another thought my hubby has always gotten more depressed this time of year even before we were aware he was bipolar. He actually just went through a depression and had a medication change which so far has helped. He also has been doing light therapy most everyday.
I really hope things improve for you!