I feel that nervous feeling every time I get a text or phone call from my boyfriend. Like this morning. It wasn't bad though. But it could have been. I have been doing better about not letting him hurt my feelings. I do hate the feelings of dread that I get whenever I hear from him.

i feel that as well with my husband. even when things are fine, i am still i feel like i am walking on eggshells, because the slighest thing can set him off, and when he goes off it is not fun. I honestly don't know what i can tell you, but what your feeling is normal. i tend to just watch extra closely in what i say or do, and try not to let the little things he says to me hurt me.. but it is hard. but this is a great place to vent or just talk.. good luck

I was like that for a while and then, thanks to GF's own therapist advice, stopped. We live normal round here, when an episode starts GF has learned to focus and find her way back, best thing to happen to her and she does the heavy lifting. Makes me love her all the more.

my husband was just diangnosied with bi polar 1. We've been together for 20 years. When you say egg shells I have that every summer. All of a sudden out of the blue he goes haywire. I can't do anything right, too slow tooo fat, you name it he's unhappy. Seemed like everything I did was wrong or made him mad. Watch what I say. Our daughter lived through this her entire childhood life. I feel so aweful that i never once thought it was bi polar. I spent my entire life saving his rotton comments from her. Always protecting her from that. She's all grown up now out of the house. Came home for a visit and saw her father just as he was when she was young. He was fine for the longest time I like him better depressed at least he's not cruel and mentally abusive. I have left him in the past but always came back. He's sorry doesn't know why he did it, will change and does for a while.
I have learned to take it in one ear and out the other. Not paying attention to his comments. It was really hard when he directed it towards our daughter. Now that I know its a sickness I feel like things can get better for once in our lives. However now I am being blocked to go to the dr with him. Very disappointing since i dont understand this at all it would be nice to hear who what when and why.
He can control his outbursts for his mother but not with me. I feel like a punching bag and I too walk on egg shells all the time. Never knowing what I can and can't say to throw him into a tissy.
I wish you luck.

Hi all

I can completely relate to this. My mother is bipolar and back in hosptial as we speak. Our whole family never feels relaxed. We can never look forward to anything positive like weddings, new jobs or new babies as there is always a good chance she will stop taking her meds and just go beserk at everyone in general. Im always anxious something bad is about to happen and im going to get that dreaded phonecall that she is back in hospital after having another episode. The worse thing is that people on the outside are so judgmental. If you choose to disconent or cut off the person with bipolar for your own sanity, you are deemed to be cruel and selfish. Its like you are put in the same bracket of someone who has just abandoned a family member with cancer.
The only difference is that the person bipolar has some control over their illness in that they can choose to take their meds and keep it under control to a certain level. @impalablack, you just mentioned that you get worried when your mother gets too happy and too angry. I know how you feel. I cannot even be in the same room as my mother when this happens..i know what is coming next.

hi carmelm85, I feel exactly the way you do...I even put of my own wedding for 5 years because I couldn't see how we could do it with her being the way she was. She is better then what she used to be (so we did finally get married last year) but it is always a constant stress.

I feel like people will judge me too for needing my space...she really effects my own depression and anxiety. I feel like I am doing the wrong thing or that I am a bad person for wanting and needing to pull away.

I also feel guilty because she is alone a lot and I know she is lonely but I need to live my life and as an act of self care I need to interact with her within my own limits. But this makes me so sad because I love her and I care about her. I really do.

Thanks for replying.

And thanks for everyone else for replying too :) It's nice to know I'm not alone in my feelings.

I'm mostly scared that he might take another overdose & this time I won't find him in time to save him. I feel like I've got to be constantly vigilant & alert for warning signs, but also that I can't let him know I feel like this as the very thought that he is worrying & upsetting me could be enough to trigger his depression & suicidal tendencies. As he is banned from getting credit & not permitted to drive due to psychosis & meds it feels safer to have him manic even with all the difficulties that entails than see him nose dive into another self annihilating depression.... :-/

I was 58 when I met GF, she was 55. My life was/is good, hers a mess. When it comes to business especially money, we do it my way or not. We talked about shacking up and deceided it was a bad idea. I take every day as it comes and as if she will walk away forever. I hope this changes but the reality is what it is. I have to take care of myself, also I have two adult daughters who live close by and they deserve a sane healthy father. We have come a long way together, and I want her with me but more on my terms more than hers. Time will tell. Best wishes to you in your circumstance. One way or the other she has to be able to stand on her own.

The is a light at the end of the tunnel. And for us, it wasn't a train this time, but a car..

My son got "God Smacked" (his words) upside the head when he hit rock bottom and totaled our car.
We were very lucky.

It has taken me over 5 months of dealing with new Doctors, therapist, 911 calls, lawyers fees, court fees, jail fees, fees, fees, fees.

But I wouldn't change a thing.

He has acknowledged that he has a disease that he can control. He has been sober since he plowed our car into someones van. Thank God no one was hurt. He is taking control of his meds and appointments.

We fought our way through the anxiety, depression and the real physical fear that our sons BP had on us.

We have come out the other side, we are not whole, but we are repairable. We are still on alert, but we will never be sucked into another BP vortex. We are prepared from the education these last few years gave us.

Take care of your self and check for signs of PTSD in your family and yourself. Every day is a learning day.

I hate my so called husband so much right now.
He won't get treated for whatever he has and i think it is bipolar disorder.
he is always over spending and junking up the house.
He just spent several hundred dollars on kitchen gadgets we have no room for. I came home on Wed night for what was supposed to be a celebration and found that instead of a clean dining room table there were flower bulbs literally all over it.
He got irate when I suggest he move the dirty things.
He is a screaming idiot.
His illness makes him that way that is.

I know what you are going through. I am an only parent to my 8 year old son. I have been called by the school too many times to count. I await the phone call or the email from the school saying he had another episode and tore up the classroom. I have lost my 48k a year job due to me having to take care of him and pick him up from school for being suspended, or repeat hospitalizations. I feel that I have developed Anxiety the longer and longer I go. I do not have family that live within 12 hours from me. So I rely on myself and myself alone.

I know how you feel i just learn to enjoy the time I have with my mom when she is stable. And if she gets to happy or too sad I role with the punches and pray that when she wakes up in the morning she is not in a Psychotic state. Even though she hates it, Im constantly taking her to emergency psych when she get in her psych moods where she is hoping on top of shit screaming at the top of her lungs, like someones killing her or in a zombie like state not eating or sleeping just repeating the same phrase or word over and over again. Im afraid of one day losing her, but a small part of me wants her to be put out her misery. Its hard to enjoy the life around me when I know my mom is at a psych hospital scared lonely and miserable. I know at least with God her mind will be clear she will be happy and I wont be in so much pain worried if all these psych meds are in her best interest. I know I sound like a bad person, but I love my mom. I can deal with every mood except for the psychotic one; its like the mom I know is trap inside of catatonic body. Some days I feel so worn: /. Today is one of those days

Totally, just yesterday being in therapy with her and watching her distort the truth to the therapist. Its sad when your best friend of 15 years turns on you in an instant. Its so bad that she is playing the role of a victim to justify her own conduct. I've been on the sidelines for over a year, no intimacy, connection, sex, dialogue or closeness. On edge, I would have to agree especially when she hides her secret and actually presents well in public. Its hard, real hard to accept the different person that she has become.