Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
This article got buried and missed and misunderstood by some. It's from one of the DS experts and appeared in another forum. For those here that may need a clearer understanding of Borderline and the differences with Bipolar, it would be helpful, so I am reposting it here. Love and Hugs, Martha
"Do You Feel Like You're in a Relationship with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?
by Susan Quinn on Jun 28, 2011
Have you had intense passion and intimate feelings for a person with high highs and low lows? Does this sound familiar: obsessing about him/her, yet no matter what you do, you can't seem please the person?
If this applies to you, read further to see if you are in a relationship with a Borderline Personality.
- Your partner swings from extremes like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde-- one moment passionately loving you in a way that makes you feel very special and in the next moment attacking you, threatening you and even raging violently.
- Being blamed and criticized for everything wrong in the relationship to the point that you are afraid to reveal what you really think or feel. You feel like you are in a double bind: you're dammed if you do and dammed if you don't. If you ask for anything you are told your needs are wrong or not important.
- Feeling that if you want to keep the relationship you have to deny what you feel to the point that you have become confused about what you really feel. You feel like you're loosing your grip on reality.
- When you try to leave the relationship the other person makes declarations of love and devotion or makes threats to you like no one but me will ever love you. Emotional abuse victims can be convinced that no one else could want them and they stay in abusive situations because they believe that if they leave they will just be alone forever.
- The abusing person seems to have an uncanny ability to know what you're thinking and can see into you with such amazing accuracy that you feel special in some way when you are with them much of the time. Longing for these loving moments when you feel seen keep you in the relationship.
Emotional abuse can be more damaging than psysical abuse because the insults, criticism and accusations chip away at the person's self esteem and their very core until they blame themselves for the abuse and sometimes even cling to the abuser.
Often the abuser in this type of relationship has Borderline Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Traits. They usually cannot be helped with therapy but the other person in the relationship can be helped to see why they are in this and how they can free themselves to move on and have a good relationship with someone different.
If you know anyone who is in a relationship like this please show them this article and let them know that they need help. These emotionally abusive relationships are dangerous and require the help of a therapist who is experienced in dealing with this issue."
Here's the link again:
http://www.dailystrength.org/health_blogs/susan-quinn/article/do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-relationship-with-dr-jekyll-and-mr-hyde
"Do You Feel Like You're in a Relationship with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?
by Susan Quinn on Jun 28, 2011
Have you had intense passion and intimate feelings for a person with high highs and low lows? Does this sound familiar: obsessing about him/her, yet no matter what you do, you can't seem please the person?
If this applies to you, read further to see if you are in a relationship with a Borderline Personality.
- Your partner swings from extremes like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde-- one moment passionately loving you in a way that makes you feel very special and in the next moment attacking you, threatening you and even raging violently.
- Being blamed and criticized for everything wrong in the relationship to the point that you are afraid to reveal what you really think or feel. You feel like you are in a double bind: you're dammed if you do and dammed if you don't. If you ask for anything you are told your needs are wrong or not important.
- Feeling that if you want to keep the relationship you have to deny what you feel to the point that you have become confused about what you really feel. You feel like you're loosing your grip on reality.
- When you try to leave the relationship the other person makes declarations of love and devotion or makes threats to you like no one but me will ever love you. Emotional abuse victims can be convinced that no one else could want them and they stay in abusive situations because they believe that if they leave they will just be alone forever.
- The abusing person seems to have an uncanny ability to know what you're thinking and can see into you with such amazing accuracy that you feel special in some way when you are with them much of the time. Longing for these loving moments when you feel seen keep you in the relationship.
Emotional abuse can be more damaging than psysical abuse because the insults, criticism and accusations chip away at the person's self esteem and their very core until they blame themselves for the abuse and sometimes even cling to the abuser.
Often the abuser in this type of relationship has Borderline Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Traits. They usually cannot be helped with therapy but the other person in the relationship can be helped to see why they are in this and how they can free themselves to move on and have a good relationship with someone different.
If you know anyone who is in a relationship like this please show them this article and let them know that they need help. These emotionally abusive relationships are dangerous and require the help of a therapist who is experienced in dealing with this issue."
Here's the link again:
http://www.dailystrength.org/health_blogs/susan-quinn/article/do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-relationship-with-dr-jekyll-and-mr-hyde
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Which explains the mysterious fevers and my extra fatigue. I'm so glad I pushed for answers.
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Due to my increased paranoia, anxiety, and a panic attack over the weekend, my psychiatrist has put me back in a full dose of Zyprexa until further notice. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something happens and it's back to square one. I knew he was gonna do this but I can't help feeling disappointed. It is what it is.
"Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and bipolar are often misdiagnosed as each other. Some people diagnosed with BPD actually have bipolar; the reverse is also true.
While only a qualified clinician can make a diagnosis of one or the other (or if both are present) there are three simple ways to distinguish bipolar disorder from borderline personality disorder.
Bipolar disorder causes dramatic mood swings, from overly "high" and/or irritable to sad and hopeless, and then back again, often with periods of normal mood in between. Severe changes in energy and behavior go along with these changes in mood. The periods of highs and lows are called episodes of mania and depression.
A cycle is the period of time it takes for a person to go through one episode of mania and one of depression. The frequency and duration of these cycles vary from person to person, from once every five years to once every three months. People with a subtype of bipolar (rapid--cycling bipolar) may cycle more quickly, but much less quickly than people with BPD (shifts can even last minutes/seconds).
According to Dr. Friedel, director of the BPD program at Virginia Commonwealth University, there are two main differences between BPD and bipolar disorder:
1. People with BPD cycle much more quickly, often several times a day.
2. The moods in people with BPD are more dependent, either positively or negatively, on what's going on in their life at the moment. Anything that might smack of abandonment (however far fetched) is a major trigger.
3. In people with BPD, the mood swings are more distinct. Marsha M. Linehan, professor of psychology at the University of Washington, says that while people with bipolar disorder swing between all-encompassing periods of mania and major depression, the mood swings typical in BPD are more specific. She says, "You have fear going up and down, sadness going up and down, anger up and down, disgust up and down, and love up and down."
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells/201003/three-easy-ways-differentiate-bipolar-and-borderline-disorders
Interestingly I've seen stuff that suggests that Borderline is 10 times more common that Bipolar.
So if you think someone might be bipolar, haven't been diagnosed and they have never has hallucinations or delusions..they are much more likely to be Borderline.
There are several reasons, some are down to doctors poor diagnostics and then attempting to sort of cover it up, the other is that borderline comes out of inconsistent parenting. If you had a parent who was bipolar, perhaps self medicatiiong that was also a poor parent (that doesn't mean to say that all people with bipolar make poor parents by any means) - then you basically can inherit bipolar from their genes and get borderline from their poor parenting.
Standard treatment for borderline is therapy, specifically DBT. I know alot of borderline folks that have found therapy very helpful for them in dealing with their disorder.
Hope that helps.