This is my first post. My mother was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder years ago. She uses it as an excuse when she’s being manipulative and denies it completely other times. She was both physically and emotionally abusive when my siBlings and I were growing up. My youngest sister still lives with her and is 17.

About 20+ years ago, my paternal grandparents purchased a house for us in our home town. My parents divorced before I remember them ever being together my my grandparents on my father’s side co-raised me and my brother. Prior to that we were three kids and my mother and stepdad in a tiny two bed apartment. My mother rented the home from my grandparents. My mother had four kids. I am the oldest. She threw each of us (save my youngest sister but she’s got one more year...)out like clockwork at the age of 18 by throwing everything we had on the front lawn and screaming about how worthless we were. My stepdad (father of my youngest sister) completely bailed about 5 years ago.

My relationship with my mother has had its ups and downs, but I have generally stayed away from our old home that is still owned by my paternal grandparents. Last winter, one of my brothers went to the house and discovered that my mother and sister were living in absolute squalor. Cat shit everywhere, carpet completely ruined,dilapidated everything. My mother stopped paying the utilities it was the middle of winter, with a northern Illinois polar vortex! No electricity, no gas, no heat. The pipes froze weeks prior to that and she told no one. She just got angry at my poor brother who had to fix all of the damage that was caused while she told him that he was worthless and never helps her and that she’ll never forgive him....for fixing the mess she made....

Thought that things were better and come to find out last week, she never got the gas turned back on and still has no heat. It’s January! Turns out she let the gas bill go so long that they removed the meter from the house and wouldn’t put it back u til the owner of the house, my grandpa, contacted them. She never told them and my poor grandparents knowing what they are dealing with don’t check on the place because honestly she’s a nightmare. They allow this for my sister who they look at as their granddaughter even though she is not related to them. What’s worse is that she has not paid them rent in over a year.

my family has reached a breaking point with her. My grandpa is putting all the utilities in his name and told her that she will pay all of it or she will have to leave. I am so afraid that she just won’t do it. 

My mother’s symptoms are so hard to deal with. She holds a regular job and can feign normalcy for others. Her mania is more in the way of grandiose thinking with little to no action taken. She does spend frivolously, but her depression takes over and she can do absolutely nothing. She has the money to pay her bills, she just doesn’t. If she is confronted about it she just slides in to all of her old manipulative emotionally abusive tactics. She won’t get help and she won’t listen to anyone. She has had someone taking care of her her whole life and now she is facing homelessness. It’s been years since she’s had to face the facts about her illness and I know that this will just lead to her threatening suicide. I know more now then I did when I was just a little girl watching my mom down a bottle of Advil then make her self throw it up a few minute later. she has never been hospitalized for her illness, but if she makes one threat i’m Calling 911 and completing a petition for it.

Just getting this shit off of my chest. Sorry for the discombobulated narrative. This is all hitting right now and I am trying to make sense of it myself. Thanks for reading.