It goes beyond him being a private person. His father died when he was a pre-teen so he has no clue how to treat a woman and indicates that he does not want to learn.

So this is how it looks when we are in public: no holding hands, no kissing (not even a peck), no arm around my waist, no google eyes, no smiling at me, and he will move away from me when I have been standing or sitting next to him for too long. I brought this last point to his attention after observing him for the past few years and plead ignorance, that he had no clue he was doing that and will try not to do it in the future. But everything he says he will try to do remains just that - a future effort. To onlookers we look like acquaintances.

He did not even propose properly. I picked out the ring at the store and as the cashier was ringing it up he walked away to look at video games at a nearby store, and every time I hear of someone getting engaged I am reminded of his very cold, aloof, inappropriate actions that he continues to portray. Even for our one year anniversary he casually handed me a box and said, "Here you go." I told him the following year that if he hands me something like that again I'm going to throw it at him and tell him to return whatever it is. On the other hand, he is very affectionate when we are at home alone together. Still, when we go out with our married friends I feel so out of place and unappreciated because they indicate from time to time that they are into each other but we have nothing.

I'm trying not to be insensitive to his mental problems but I also need to be made to feel like I am appreciated and cherished as a wife, not as an acquaintance. I do every single thing for him in the world, including struggling to take care of him since he has been unemployed longer than he has been working since we've been together and encouraging him in the first place to seek mental health treatment.

Any tips to keep my sanity?