Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
Hello everyone. I just joined the group today as I realize I need people to talk to and maybe some advice on dealing with my bipolar 2 wife (diagnosed 08/2014). My wife and I were married almost 5 years ago. It was both of our 2nd marriages. I brought a one daughter to the marriage and she brought 3 daughters. We then had our own son. I always knew that at times my wife would get way more upset over little things than I thought she should, but it only happened on occasion.
Through the 5 years, there were good times and bad which I know happens with all marriages. Since she has been diagnosed, things have become very bad. I came home from a business trip after being away for 3 days. When I returned, my wife was very distant. I tried and tried to get her to tell me what was wrong. She told me that she needed space and didn't feel like she was in love with me anymore.
Let me explain a little about myself. I have always been the support in the family. I never expected her to have a traditional job as being a stay at home mom is the hardest job ever. I have provided everything that my wife has ever asked for. I took her 3 daughters and have raised them as my own. I do the homework with them all and ensure that they are taken care of. Anything my wife wanted or needed, I would do whatever it took to make that happen.
Now back to present. After hearing that she didn't feel like she loved me anymore, we started going to marriage counseling. We have only been to one session, and it seemed pretty good. At one point the counselor had to get onto my wife for being mean to me in the session. We have more sessions scheduled. My wife wants her space and the freedom to come and go as she pleases. She goes out drinking with friends, has started smoking, and always leaves me to watch the kids. I am not sure if she is taking her meds as prescribed either. I just know that she wants nothing to do with me and says that anytime I want to be close it just pushes her further away.
Are these signs of bipolar? Has anyone else been through something similar? I know I have jumped around and have left out a lot. But I thought this may get a conversation started.
Through the 5 years, there were good times and bad which I know happens with all marriages. Since she has been diagnosed, things have become very bad. I came home from a business trip after being away for 3 days. When I returned, my wife was very distant. I tried and tried to get her to tell me what was wrong. She told me that she needed space and didn't feel like she was in love with me anymore.
Let me explain a little about myself. I have always been the support in the family. I never expected her to have a traditional job as being a stay at home mom is the hardest job ever. I have provided everything that my wife has ever asked for. I took her 3 daughters and have raised them as my own. I do the homework with them all and ensure that they are taken care of. Anything my wife wanted or needed, I would do whatever it took to make that happen.
Now back to present. After hearing that she didn't feel like she loved me anymore, we started going to marriage counseling. We have only been to one session, and it seemed pretty good. At one point the counselor had to get onto my wife for being mean to me in the session. We have more sessions scheduled. My wife wants her space and the freedom to come and go as she pleases. She goes out drinking with friends, has started smoking, and always leaves me to watch the kids. I am not sure if she is taking her meds as prescribed either. I just know that she wants nothing to do with me and says that anytime I want to be close it just pushes her further away.
Are these signs of bipolar? Has anyone else been through something similar? I know I have jumped around and have left out a lot. But I thought this may get a conversation started.
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
If it's bipolar you would start noticing other things - speeded up speech, jumping from one subject to another, possibly lack of inhibition.
I hate to say it but I went through something similar - I'm the one that is bipolar - I went through the same thing of my non bipolar wife going out more and more, being distant, and saying she wasn't sure about us. Turned out eventuially it was another guy and she left me.
I really don't think this is a bipolar thing, sorry.
This is important. Keep sufficient finances available for your family's needs. Encourage her to work and take her name off your accounts if you need to. If she really doesn't want you, things could get very ugly, very fast, with everyone, including the kids, getting used as pawns. This is not a time to be wearing rose-colored glasses. these issues will affect all of you for the rest of your lives. If she needs psychological help, by all means, help her with that. But protect yourself too. Consult with a lawyer, privately.
very best,
--EJ
Her psychiatrist has her on the generic form of Xanax and I know she is drinking while on these. I have read that this is a very bad thing, and I am not sure if that is what she needs.
Xanax is an anti-anxiety med - if that is all she is on she is basically unmedicated which is odd if the psychiatrist has diagnosed her with bipolar. Isn't she on anything else?
One strange thing that has happened twice now. My wife has never been overly sexual. Over the past month, when we are having a good day together (not talking about situations that bother me, her working on her favorite hobby), we have had sex. The funny thing is, she has given a name to the increased sexual person she becomes. She will ask me if I want to meet "insert name" in the bedroom. I find it odd, but exciting. But I worry if this is maybe a sign of something else.