Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.

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angie73 01/30/2014

I recently married a man with bipolar and didn't know anything about it I thought if he took his medicine everything would be fine. I was in for a big shock but I don't know what is the bipolar or I feel like maybe we don't "fit" anymore. I have never been in a relationship that is so up and down. Sometimes I feel like we might make it and other times I feel like he thinks I'm a horrible person and I wonder why he asked me to marry him. He was jealous of anything I found joy in- my daughter, my dog, family and running. He would try to keep me away from them. With my daughter he would try to make up stuff about her to try to put a wedge between us. I left him but he said he wants to make it work, so we see each other about once a week.
I just found out he doesn't take all his medicine. I don't think anyone is really monitoring if he's on the right dose. I'm coming to the conclusion that maybe a lot of our problems are from the bipolar and I'm not the horrible person he says I'm am.
I need to learn more about bipolar. I just thought people with bipolar had extreme ups and downs and if they are on meds they would be fine. I didn't know it affects their entire life- but maybe if they are on the right dosage then they will be fine?

shelbyalright 01/30/2014

I don't really have a lot of experience with someone who is on the medicine. My X chooses to self medicate with marijuana. When he cant find it life was seriously hard. He did get on meds after our divorce and was diagnosed BP, those were the nicest two months in dealing with him. He soon stopped due to the side effects (something as simple as dry mouth). I know by doing some research myself I know that there are many differences in BP depending on the person.
I hope you can convince him to be on his meds. Being robbed all your happiness is a miserable way to live. The exact reason why I left X.
Prayers to you my friend.
Shelby

deleted_user 01/31/2014

Just readn your post, your not the horrible person he says. He has to take charge of his issue, and I have found out this is unique to the individual. Yes read as much as you can. Attend some group sessions with others who deal with bipolar. I have met and sat in on a session with GF's therapist. I'm better at helping in some areas than others so.... the support crew is more than me. Girlfriend takes meds, a bunch of meds, I let her keep up with that, I help with finances and what I call problem prioritizing. Give yourself credit and choose to define what role you tackle.

deleted_user 02/04/2014

your husband should be making regular visits to dr. until his moods are stable. Not all doctors are great at this. Most bipolar ppl don't want to go to doctor. At least not if manic or whatever. Make contact with doctor yourselfgo to appt with him. Establish that it is ok for you to talk about your husband's behavior. YOU will be a better judge of his moods than he is. If meds are right he should be pretty darn controlled. I do think however that bipolar is just a lifetime thing and there may be a time when what works now may not work and meds have to change dose or whole med.it is something the patient AND family have to stay on top of.

blessuall 02/05/2014

Hi..I am sorry for what you are going through..
It helps me to look at bipolar in some of the ways it is like the physical disease of cancer
someone with cancer can have surgery to remove it, go through recommended treatment and yet you never know how long the person will be cancer free. It could come back anytime, in any part of their body, can be much worse than before...completely unpredictable....the same with bipolar even with meds which certainly can help but can get complicated ...BP may not want to take his meds, side effects, need to change meds, BP self medicating with other drugs that doctor is not aware of...etc.
With bipolar though the family is much more seriously emotionally effected. It is a very individual thing to decide can I live with this, do I want to live with this, and what about the effects on my child. My X is bipolar and a prescription drug addict and greatly effects our adult daughter..I am still struggling with this. Thank you so much for sharing...we are in this together...so helpful to have all this honesty and understanding.

Mommyx6 02/05/2014

I WANT TO SAY I AM AN EXPERT ON LOVING SOMEONE WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS. BEEN DOING IT FOR TWELVE YEARS. I WOULD LOVE TO SAY IT GOT BETTER BUT IT DIDN'T. SHE TRADED THE VOICES AND MOOD SWINGS OFF MEDS TO BEING ON MEDS AND NOT BEING ABLE TO CONCENTRATE, FOCUS, OR REMEMBER ANYTHING. THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IS A LONG, LONG TIME. THAT IS WHAT I LEARNED THROUGH THIS WHOLE THING. WE ARE MARRIED, WITH KIDS AND MOST DAYS I HAVE A PATIENT INSTEAD OF A PARTNER. EVEN THOUGH I AM A NURSE I AM STILL GOING THROUGH IT. I WOULD TELL ANYONE THINK LONG AND HARD. FOREVER IS A REALLY LONG TIME.

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