Hi everyone,

This site saved my sanity several years ago, so I thought I would reach out to people that understand.  I do not know what to do in this situation.  79 year old enabling mother(of many years) and 50 year old drug addict son (my brother) who lives with her.  My mom is starting severe short term memory loss, but other than that knows who everyone is, takes care of herself as far as personal hygene goes and still drives.  Up until last week, I was her POA and a few years back she had a will made out and it was to protect her assets from him.  I took over her finances, as she has very little left as he has either stolen(5, 000 in one weekend on a drug induced run) or she has given it to him.  She lives on SS alone.  My other 2 brothers out of picture years ago because they could not deal with my moms enabling and almost obsession over the drug addict son.  Well last week, he took her to make out a new will and left all to him.  I called lawyer and he told me that unless I can prove her incompetent, there was nothing I could do.  I can't prove her incompetent, but I do know there is issues.  She believes EVERY WORD HER SON TELLS HER.  I tried talking to her, that this was not the best interest for her, but as he is screaming at me, she said this is what she wants to do. He cooks for her and mows the grass.  He pays NO bills and totally lives off her, feels he is entitled because he "watches her"!  I have decided to walk away.  I gave back all the check books and bills and told them to have at it!  He will have her run into the ground in no time.  But I am grieving, I am grieving the loss of my mom.  I can't have a relationship with her, because I can't watch this!  Has anyone else experience this?  How can you get the guilt out of your head that your abandoning your mom?  Even though nothing you said worked.  Thanks for listening.  I don't even know if this is the right group for me. H