Your 10 yr old is going to eventually hear it from someone, best it be from you. Honesty is best, don't pull punches, don't try to sugar coat it. The parents of their friends will eventually hear about it, discuss it with their kids and then all sorts of misinformation will ensue. Best to arm your child with the facts, warn them of the possibility that someone could tease them about it and help them prepare for that. Cause that can be brutal.

He knows you're lying too... the longer you lie the worse they will dream it up in their minds... And don't forget the internet, they're 10, may not be looking it up at home, but could be looking up their father at a friend's house or library... I know it is going to suck beyond your wildest dreams, but they need to hear it from you, the whole truth and nothing but... So they can have confidence when they are dealing with the idiots in the world.... Prepare them, so you both can protect each other.

I agree with Wisconsin, you need to tell them, but in a way that is age appropriate. I had to tell our youngesr children why Daddy was arrested. They understood exactly what happened, but didn't need to know all the details.

I let my kids know what was going on, and they had a say in what our position was as a family. It was important to me that we all had a say. If there was any desent in supporting hubby, I would have walked away from hubby - especially if the desent was from daughter that was abused.

@thoughts what did you tell the kids like how munch info my daughter his step says she doesnt care if i stay with him so i dont know this is all so confusing

I agree to tell them and give them the basic information on the crime so they can understand why daddy can't see them. But I would not give them the exact details.....like what pictures daddy had or if the crime involves a living breathing child I don't think they need in detail what daddy did to this child. Thats just my opinion

I strongly recommend that you make amends with your son.

Let him know you lied and apologize for it. Tell him that it was wrong for you to lie to him. Don't make excuses....anything. Just apologize.

Tell him that you made a wrong decision and that in the future you will do your best to not do that again.

Your son may hate what happened but he will respect you more now than if you put it off, and it will take time for him to build trust in you again.

- In His Steps

Ok here is what happend my husband had sex with my daughter his step my daughter still lives at home and they love their sister i dont want them to not luke her and think this is all her fault you know i dont know how to tell them with out giving them details

Wow, that is tough. I guess I need to know how old all of the kids are before I can tell you what I would do.

The younger ones will be 10 in june 7 in may and the other just turned 8

Personally I think 8 years old is a little to young to know the details of this case. Maybe tell them the basics, like the police didn't like things daddy did so he needs to go away for a while. And if you think they need to know, you can tell them it involved their sister. That is a tough one but I think 8 years old is a little young to carry this kind of burden.

Tell them, your husband hurt your daughter, that he did things that a daddy shouldn't do, so he had to go to jail for it.

You are then placing the blame on your husband, so they don't blame daughter for his actions.

I agree with the above. Make it clear that he was the adult in the situation, and he made a poor choice. Unfortunately, this is a learning experience for your children. Don't lie, don't hide this from them - the truth always always comes out. Just tell them that daddy did not behave like a father to your daughter, and that is against the law, and for that he needs to go to jail. Make sure you tell them, flat out, that your daughter is not to blame - because she's not.

Your husband made a choice to act inappropriately, whether it was consensual or not. Make sure they know that, and that they know that jail is going to teach him to be a better person. That's the part I would focus on, that he's gone to jail for doing something bad, but that doesn't make him a bad person - it makes him someone that needs to learn how to be a better person, and jail is going to help him do that.