Families of SOs Community Group
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Hi! I haven't been on much due to studying and kids starting school but I woke up yesterday morning and decided to visit my husband for the first time. I was approved about 2 weeks ago but since it was still summer vacation for the kids we were busy. I didn't tell him I was coming, first because I didn't want him to tell me to not come (he keeps telling me he doesn't want me to have to deal with it) and also because I wasn't sure if I would chicken out.
It popped in my head on Tuesday that I didn't have plans for Saturday and maybe I would visit. I didn't want to tell anyone (well, not that I really had anyone to tell) but I did mention it to one of the Elders at my church. He asked me why I wouldn't go and I said because I was afraid of the emotions and feelings that go along with that. He didn't push me to go but he did say that my husband needs me more than I need him and that I would probably feel bad if I didn't go.
I have to say, it wasn't that bad. Ok, reality is it wasn't that bad looking back. I pulled up to the prison and panicked. Seeing all the barbed wire and all the corrections officers walking around is extremely intimidating. Anyway, I put on my big girl panties and went in to register. That alone made me feel uncomfortable. After you show your ID they make you step back and give you a once over to make sure your clothing are not against the rules. Then they make you drive to the other side of the building where you wait to be let in the prison. This is where it gets really intimidating. You go through on gate, they close it and you are basically in a cage. Then they open the other side and your in the yard. You go through a door that leads to a tiny hall with a metal detector. You walk through, put your stuff (your ID and your car keys because that is all your allowed to bring) in a locker. Then you go into another room and get pat down. Under your breasts, up and down your legs, in your pockets...its really uncomfortable and it does make you feel violated. Then you go into the visitation room where I was able to hug and kiss my husband than we sat across from each other.
I want to be completely honest with anyone who hasn't seen their loved one yet, it was really, really uncomfortable. I was happy to finally see and hold my husband (even if it was for a short time) but I was on edge for most of the time. I was shaking and at one point I couldn't stop my tears and honestly I felt like throwing up. But as the time went on I felt better...and it was time to leave. I got to hug and kiss my hubby one more time and after all the stress and emotions, I couldn't be happier to finally see him again. Obviously it's not the ideal situation and I'm still coming to terms with being a prisoner's wife, but it's just another step in this strange life that God has me leading. I know He has a plan for us.
The point is, our prisoned loved ones need us more that we need them. Our visits are their only moments of calm and normalcy in the crazy, cooped up life they are going through. I hope everyone gets to see their loved ones through this struggle. And if you are having doubts about visitation, and are scared, just do it. Get over the fear and think of how happy your loved one will be to see the friendly face of someone who loves them!
It popped in my head on Tuesday that I didn't have plans for Saturday and maybe I would visit. I didn't want to tell anyone (well, not that I really had anyone to tell) but I did mention it to one of the Elders at my church. He asked me why I wouldn't go and I said because I was afraid of the emotions and feelings that go along with that. He didn't push me to go but he did say that my husband needs me more than I need him and that I would probably feel bad if I didn't go.
I have to say, it wasn't that bad. Ok, reality is it wasn't that bad looking back. I pulled up to the prison and panicked. Seeing all the barbed wire and all the corrections officers walking around is extremely intimidating. Anyway, I put on my big girl panties and went in to register. That alone made me feel uncomfortable. After you show your ID they make you step back and give you a once over to make sure your clothing are not against the rules. Then they make you drive to the other side of the building where you wait to be let in the prison. This is where it gets really intimidating. You go through on gate, they close it and you are basically in a cage. Then they open the other side and your in the yard. You go through a door that leads to a tiny hall with a metal detector. You walk through, put your stuff (your ID and your car keys because that is all your allowed to bring) in a locker. Then you go into another room and get pat down. Under your breasts, up and down your legs, in your pockets...its really uncomfortable and it does make you feel violated. Then you go into the visitation room where I was able to hug and kiss my husband than we sat across from each other.
I want to be completely honest with anyone who hasn't seen their loved one yet, it was really, really uncomfortable. I was happy to finally see and hold my husband (even if it was for a short time) but I was on edge for most of the time. I was shaking and at one point I couldn't stop my tears and honestly I felt like throwing up. But as the time went on I felt better...and it was time to leave. I got to hug and kiss my hubby one more time and after all the stress and emotions, I couldn't be happier to finally see him again. Obviously it's not the ideal situation and I'm still coming to terms with being a prisoner's wife, but it's just another step in this strange life that God has me leading. I know He has a plan for us.
The point is, our prisoned loved ones need us more that we need them. Our visits are their only moments of calm and normalcy in the crazy, cooped up life they are going through. I hope everyone gets to see their loved ones through this struggle. And if you are having doubts about visitation, and are scared, just do it. Get over the fear and think of how happy your loved one will be to see the friendly face of someone who loves them!
Just remember...It is what it is until it ain't !
For four years my wife visited me. It was not how I would have chosen to spend time with her, but even there every moment was precious.
And 30 years later and sitting here in our home, I love that girl just as much as the first time my heart flipped and I knew that I was in love with her.
i use to drive truck for a scrap and trash company and i have been inside a max security prison many, many times picking up their compacter..... was scanned each and every time i went in but never patted down. had the dogs sniff me all over but the biggest inconvenience was having to take my work boots off so that they could be inspected. they would also inspect the truck top to bottom and inside. they were not happy with the pipe i carried but i explained that sometimes i had to use it for leverage on the handles of the ratchet arms that hold the compacter machine to the container. . all in all tho i felt kind of uncomfortable, it was not an unpleasant experience to be in the yard within 12 feet of the male prisoners out exercising. as a matter of fact 2 of them jumped to help me one day when a bunch of garbage fell out of the compacter.