I have found those involved in the law enforcement community, including the social programs, don't care about the families once the accused is behind bars. We mean nothing to them. The good always suffer for the deeds of the bad, ie visitors scamming, not abiding by the rules, creating problems, etc. The familiy members are ignored, because, after all, we love and/or care for the accused, who, whether been to trial or not, are guilty of the horrible offense even if they are not. Get used to it, it will not get any better. The above described treatment makes me now realize how people can "lose it".

I am considering writing a letter of complaint but wanted to get others input about others experiences.

It couldn't hurt, but don't expect any results or reply. The system is so entrenched in it's ways that nothing can change it. It is government, after all. That should say it all.

Here are some things that may make it a little less frustrating. Remember the guards, I refuse to call them "correctional officers, they correct nothing and officiate over no one, have all the power. If you lodge a complaint, your loved one will get the blow back.
Get there early. First in line means first in.
Wear nothing close to the color the inmates wear.
Make sure what you wear is modest.
Make sure there is no metal in your clothing.
Keep jewelery to a bare minimum. Wedding rings, religious jewelery is about all you should wear.
Put all change, keys, and metallic objects in a clear, plastic bag.
Treat the guards with respect even though they don't deserve it. Kill them with kindness and give them no excuses.
Record any instances of guards breaking the rules. Send that list directly to the Warden and head of the BOP the day after your husband is released.
I am speaking from direct experience.

Thanks. That was the advise I needed.

I left one thing out.
If you are an attractive woman, you will have an easier time with the guards.

so a face lift is in order. lol. won't be long before i will be going through this - thanks for bringing this thread to the surface. i always wear nice cheery colors when visiting. it has to make a difference to my son whether he knows it or not,

Ok so I need a face lift, a little liposuction, some implants...a tummy tuck...that should help LOL

Something else I learned is there are rules about the line that queues in the morning about where you can stand at what time and where you are in line even though you may not be standing in it.