I have many days just like the one you described. I remember how how tings used to be before our son was convicted and became a RSO. He was molested also when he was 16 but never told us because he was too ashamed. We knew he was troubled but didn't know why and never thought that he himself would go down this road. He was convicted in 2009 and was serving a 12-year probation. They restricted him to the point where he was under constant house arrest for not being able to pass his polys. His PO threated to regress him to prison. That is when he blew a fuse and disapeared. He later turned himself in and is now being held in county jail facing resentencing and most likely time in prison. He is 24 years old and has spent most of his youth in jail or on probation. I too have blamed myself for what happed to him and wished I could go back in time and somehow prevent all this from happening. I have spent many sleepless nights and shed many tears. I often wished that it was me instead of him. Also until we know what his sentence will be, it is hard to live with the uncertainty of his situation.

Some days are better than others. By now I know that after those real bad days there usually better ones. We will get through this somehow. I am sure there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I really hope that you will get to see your son very soon!!! I will keep you in my prayers, praying for better days to come.