Families of SOs Community Group
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I've been a peruser of this board for several weeks, reading the posts, stories, news, and encouragement. It's definitely been a blessing to be able to share as an outsider for sometime, especially in light of the IML decision of late.
But today I'm angry, which has prompted me to stop standing on the sidelines of this group.
My boyfriend is a SO, convicted of CP. He did his time, his therapy, has been out for several years, and has done quite well. I met him shortly after he was released from prison and despite my shock when he disclosed his CP conviction, I fell in love with a man who was incredibly upbeat, positive and loved life.
He works at a small business that employs several people. Most of them know about his past, as it was blasted in the news at the time of his conviction. Recently he had to fire someone who had been underperforming. Someone who had been given plenty of warning and assistance to perform better, however never stepped up their game. My boyfriend agonized over the decision for weeks, and ultimately fired them, even tearing up during the conversation. He was more than generous in severance and employment assistance. Since being fired, the employee's spouse has sent several angry emails and messages referencing my boyfriend's offense. And now we find out that an "anonymous" email was sent to a large customer with news articles about my boyfriend's past! They're trying to jeopardize his job!
And I'm pissed! This is vigilantism and vengeance on a different level. Does this shit ever end?
We're always living with the anxiety that someone will find out (a friend, family member) and we'll have to deal with the fallout. But goodness, this is exhausting. And now IML, so every time someone hands over their passport for identification (to a flight gate agent, to a hotel, to a bar, to get a driver's license) they get to be shamed and possibly victimized?
Needless to say it's been a stressful week for the two of us... Just had to get that out... Here's to fighting the good fight!
But today I'm angry, which has prompted me to stop standing on the sidelines of this group.
My boyfriend is a SO, convicted of CP. He did his time, his therapy, has been out for several years, and has done quite well. I met him shortly after he was released from prison and despite my shock when he disclosed his CP conviction, I fell in love with a man who was incredibly upbeat, positive and loved life.
He works at a small business that employs several people. Most of them know about his past, as it was blasted in the news at the time of his conviction. Recently he had to fire someone who had been underperforming. Someone who had been given plenty of warning and assistance to perform better, however never stepped up their game. My boyfriend agonized over the decision for weeks, and ultimately fired them, even tearing up during the conversation. He was more than generous in severance and employment assistance. Since being fired, the employee's spouse has sent several angry emails and messages referencing my boyfriend's offense. And now we find out that an "anonymous" email was sent to a large customer with news articles about my boyfriend's past! They're trying to jeopardize his job!
And I'm pissed! This is vigilantism and vengeance on a different level. Does this shit ever end?
We're always living with the anxiety that someone will find out (a friend, family member) and we'll have to deal with the fallout. But goodness, this is exhausting. And now IML, so every time someone hands over their passport for identification (to a flight gate agent, to a hotel, to a bar, to get a driver's license) they get to be shamed and possibly victimized?
Needless to say it's been a stressful week for the two of us... Just had to get that out... Here's to fighting the good fight!
So sorry you have to put up with the BS.
Its amazing how our nation pulls together after 911. Then as time passes it goes back to the same old crap. Its not about all for one. Its about being self centered.
Not easy but hang in there.
The company is having an attorney write a letter to the employee and the spouse ensuring legal action will follow if they continue. Needless to say I doubt they'll want to have their finances drained further by a lawsuit, but hopefully the damage hasn't already been done. Now we wait and see if the company loses the customer.
Since IML (the passport law) ended up being signed by POTUS, I'm putting my resources behind the lawsuit that Janice at California RSOL has filed. Things have got to change.
Thanks for listening
The business then needs to get their attorney to write up a cease and desist to the same people and file it in the civil court. That should start sending the picture that what they are doing needs to stop.
Because while this is high school, there are consequences for acting like that. These are those consequences.
The customer is talking to their legal department, whatever that means! For what? To see if they can do business with a company that employs a SO? Gimme a break! My boyfriend's company attorney also cautioned that if the company sued, then it would be public record, thus making my boyfriend's situation that much more accessible and of public note once again, possibly for other customers to see. Talk about a catch 22! Hopefully this all just blows over
The customer, if they deal with children at all or cater to schools, or anything like that I can see why they check. But their legal department is going to look at the letter of the law, rather than emotion, which in a way is good, rather than some CEO or something dropping the vendor, because of their personal opinion which could be based on media reports. And you see his current employer can't really fire him at this point because that is an EEOC issue as it would pertain to him losing his job because of his criminal record, in which case he could sue them too. So the liklihood of him losing his job at this point is fairly slim.
While it is a catch 22, it is also a sign that cooler heads might prevail here and that idiot that is spewing misinformation will fade in to the past as an afterthought.
Did your BF talk about filing a criminal complaint about the harassment or was he advised that they needed to actually cost him his job before that would be something to pursue?