Well I haven't been on in awhile. I lost my job so we have been dealing with that on top of everything going on with our son. We had the 2nd court date the 25th of last month. Thankfully we found a lawyer before then who is working with us. I can say its sad when you have to go completely outside the county you reside in the find a lawyer willing to take the case! We had to go little rock. The DNA test was done and regretfully it came out the way we didn't want it to. As soon as we got to court their lawyer came out and was surprised when we were standing there with our lawyer. Lol he didn't enter an appearance until we were there an about to walk into court. We caught them by surprise, they were wanting to finalize the guardianship that day!! Well we ended up getting a continuance on it since we had just hired our lawyer. So now the visitation is pretty much the same except they made it where my husband can not be around when I have Alex. I still only get him 1 day a week but it's a set time where they can't shorten the amount of time I have with him.

Today has been the hardest day since this all started. We had a really good day just laughing and playing the whole time. When it was time to take him back, that's what got me today. I wrote this on my Facebook page when I got home.

Today has been the hardest day even though we had fun...... As we were in the car on the way to take you back it hurt to look at your chubby little face. The look you had just made me break down. The look of mommy we were having a really good time, why am I going back?? I don't understand why I have to go. The look of complete defeat in your eyes makes me mad. And to know that you are crying right now wondering where I am makes it worse. I sat in silence on the way back home. The only sound was me crying the whole way. I can say yes today has been the hardest day since this mess started. I am so sorry baby that you have to go through this all alone without me there to hold you. I love you with all my heart and I pray that you are back in my arms soon. Stay strong baby. Just remember that momma and daddy are here and we both love you...

I'm trying my hardest to be strong and just keep praying that this will be over soon....