Finding a path that is happy. My hubby and I had been dating for 6 months when his offense happened. I have been with him through jail, trial, probation and now the registry. When it all started, it seemed like we would never find happiness. Like everything was lost. On the other side of everything, I look back and can see the amazing miracles ... people, jobs, religion, specific special places and moments ... that have shaped who we are as a couple and as a RSO and wife. I never thought I could find the happiness that I have now. It always looks scary and bleak in the beginning, but if you stay for the ENTIRE crazy roller-coaster journey, it gets so much better.

Thanks you guys for giving us hope...

My husband and I are closer than ever before since his arrest. Because I didn't leave, and came to visit him, cared about him-he gave his life to The Lord. He has changed so much in this past year, you would swear he is a different person.

cause you are in it for the right reasons. Awife how much stronger does it get then to pull each other through another battle and smile because you survived yet again? that is solid.

young love is sweet but you are the test of time.

Thank you Jackiecook - you said it all!

this support group has been a blessing . everyone is here with a heart to show they care . its waht we all need these days . no matter what you are going thru . there is a group of people thata re going thru the same kind of things , and or similiilar . . if i had cancer id be on a cancer forum . depression . id be on depression support group . trying to reach out and e ncourage , let them hear of the greatest hope in all this .. and in here we find a group of people goign thru the hurt pain and trials and unjust laws together as one . , there to support our families thru it and face the hard times now and ahead . thought i love that your hub got saved . thats one the greatest miracles ever . im so happy to hear that and how youa ll are strong together , thats what love is about . .my husband and i been together 7 yrs almost .we cry , pray , help , and trust one another . its a blessing to have someone not abusive , and dont cheat on me or ever has . and hes my soul mate . after all it was him GOD used to bring me to the LORD .and he baptised me ..GOD saved him and gave him the gift of evangelism . but the saddest thing is . right now he cant preach in front the church , but hes going to ask his probation officer about it . since 2009 , he hasnt been able to preach in church .. so he can use his gifts GOD given him . i listen to my hubs tapes where he is on fire for GOD in the holy ghost . and i see how sweet and kind my hub is , how he thinks , how he wants to reach out to help . how hed be there to give you his shirt off back . how when he was in jail and he was able to bring a group of guys to have prayer meetings . bible study . in their hr of freedom a day and how he had them singing that just a jail bird saved by jesus . song . it brought me tears to eyes , along with the testimonies of GOD useign him to reach even the coldest darkest heart ,, in there and after wards , hear and see them going to church , physically out of jail . . as i said before GOD can change anyone and my hub is not the same man he use to be before salvation . and i thank GOD for it . please pray the probation dept one day will allow him to preach . yes he does have his licence . the full gospel told him his past is the past . he stays out of trouble and hes new creation . , thats the dif between true christians , they dont shun people for past , they forgive restore and give them the opportunity to use their gifts .and they are loved . prayed for .

Much agreed Jackie :) Six years married on the 30th and 9 years together this October ... it seems like it was forever ago that we were seeing each other through glass. You know, he was in jail waiting for trial for a year and a half ... it's funny to think that the first year and a half of our marriage seems like it went so fast but that same amount of time that I couldn't hold his hand or hug him seemed like it went by soooo slowly. Truly, what you said is so true. Not just for spouses either. Parents, children, siblings ... we all are tested by this experience. I just know that when you make the decision to ride it out, you are in for heart aches ... but you're in for joy too. It's exactly like that quote about how God creates diamonds from dust using the pressure of our trials. By the end of this, we aren't diamonds yet ... but if you can survive this, you're well on your way. I also noticed that both Thought and Hurting have grown closer to their spouse as well during all of this. Strength is built so keep taking one breath at a time and one step forward even if you have to take three back.

Awife I know what you say is true. I hear it all the time from those that support their man through this...which promotes number two...

2) WOMEN DO NOT ALWAYS ABANDON THEIR MEN....

One thing that crossed my sons mind was what future would he have to get married and have a family? I also wondered...and what I never expected was meeting the kind of woman that would sign up for this.

Being a grieving mother I never thought about what wives/girlfriends must be going through. First person i made contact with was a registrant himself, second third, mothers like me then i started getting to know wives who have chosen to either stay with their husbands or those who voluntarily enlisted to ride it out with the man they fell in love with. Though I admired the strength of the mothers, my hat is off to the resilience of the wives! No one asks us mothers why we stand by our son's side, yet you gals are bombarded with having to justify your reasoning from all sides all the time.
Thoughtofasweak's thread about seeing the councilor is not an isolated incident, it happens just that way more often than not.

They are women that do not need validation from the rest of society to be compassionate, understanding and supportive and in love with a registrant. .

CONCLUSION: One thing I can be assured of is- if and when this happens, she will not be a weakling...and that is a comfort.

I met my DH AFTER he did his time etc. Before I came to be with him he told me that he was on the registry. I loved/love him and moved to be with him. I and several of my RL friends are examples of women who will choose to be there through the registry difficulties. For all that we cannot live together now I will not abandon DH!

I promised my hubby I'd stand by is side no matter what, through thick and thin...This nightmare will be over someday, and we'll be better and stronger for it. My therapist that I'm seeing for this and other issues paid me a compliment the other day...after her trying to tell me that it's just a matter of time before he reoffendsno matter what treatment he goes through, and me standing up to her telling her the facts, I flat out told her that we'd just have to agree to disagree because I love my husband and will not abandon him, that I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. She said she'd never seen someone so determined to stay married, and with the divorce rate at over 50%, she found it encouraging. She said she saw a "deep well of strength" in me and said she was proud of me for standing with him...that everyone needs someone to do that for them. It was the 1st time in real life anyone has said, good job. That was encouraging. So is this group...I've learned so much here...

It makes me mad though that she would tell you it was only a matter of time before he re offends! Especially for a therapist! That shows ignorance because if she really doesn’t have experience with this stuff she should keep her opinions about it to herself! On your next session you should take her documented proof that sex offenders have the lowest re-offense rate of any crime!

I am very grateful for my councilor. She had seen people go into jail as one person, and come out completely changed. She does believe that people can be reformed. She believes me and supports me in my decision to stay. I am grateful to have her; the previous councilor tried to treat me for co-dependacy, I finally after a month asked to be reassigned because I didn't need to be treated for co-dependency.

Why is it when you support the SO you are now in agreement with the crime committed? One of the many things I did not expect is how some people will treat you like you committed the crime and others will still love you because they love you.

I am proud of my friends that support me because I am me not because I support my SO brother. The shame is horrid enough without people acting as if you agree with the crime committed.