I wish I could tell you. Its a step forward and ten back. My husband was just charged but I expect him to not be released ever. I wish I had words but I cannot wrap my head around the mixed emotions you must have with family involved. In some ways it feels like death but with no resolution. The only reality I have found is on this board because I see other moms and wives breathing in and out and surviving another day they didn't think they could. A dear friend and ex inmate with a wealth of knowledge took me under his wing on this board and I have survived some days hour by hour and some days minute by minute. Anti depressants help. As long as you realize that there is a depth of sorrow that no anti depressant can remove. But if your struggles include not dressing for a week or eating or not being able to contain your sobbing on a reasonably daily basis...yes anti depressants will make a difference. I take sleeping medication too and I hope one day I wont have to but between the PTSD of a surprise raid and my anxiety over losing my husband, sometimes sleep is elusive and sometimes mybescape. I have an 18 year old son at home whom I can hear down the hall crying at night in his room because he misses his father. I know you envy that I can walk in his room and hold him and comfort him, just as I envy your opportunity to go on vacation with your husband. We both want what we cant have. I dont know what the finality of sentencing feels like, I am not there yet but I imagine that your life has stopped in its tracks despite the fact the rest of the world wants you to keep moving. I dont know if you have any spiritual faith or belief but there is a book I just read called When I Lay Down My Isaac. Its a true story you may recognize from past news about a mother who loses her son to a life sentence. I'm a hopeless control freak which makes this situation all the more painful. The book gave me some peace. I am still full of sorrow but I did find some comfort in reading it and I find bits and pieces of comfort here on this board and I take and scrounge every ounce of comfort and peace I can wherever I can find it. In prayer, in books that speak to my sorrow AND ON THIS BOARD. Go on vacation, you will have to take your sorrow with you but read that book if you can. Hold tight to your husband and try and find some comfort in his presence. I will pray for you and keep you in my thoughts while you are on vacation and I will hold my son a little longer and a little tighter tonight for you when I hug him good night. Please do the same for me with your husband. This board has answered questions, given me power through information and also slapped me around a little with some huge doses of reality. I have a small small circle of support and I have this board. I think maybe I got nothing I asked for and everything I needed. There are warrior mothers on this board who can light your way. I'm so so sorry for your son's sentence.

Its very much like grieving after someone has passed away wich sucks.
The way I worked though it was writing writing and then some more writing and the family of prisoners board and finding out all thst I could on the places he was in.....it kinda help knowing that.
Go on your holiday with your hubby he needs you right now as well.....iam sure your boy will want you to go as well plus it will give you something to tell him about.....yes the guys do like hearing about that sort of stuff.
I only used sleeping tablets at the end when I really wasn't sleeping due to stress....I got cheap over the counter ones wich helped me a lot. Can you see if you can get any sort of counseling? It may help you a bit or you can take the anit depression stuff but that is not without risks.
Do take care of you this is hard work at times.
I did find that it got a bit easier once I knew wich prison he would be staying in for bit and that he was ok and the way that place work...as in what I could send him, how much money to put on and the whole visit thing as well oh and where to stay when I went up there.
Take it one day or one moment at a time there will be crap days and ok days and even sometimes good days just take it as it comes.

I agree so much with Psalm, Antidepresants and sleep aids can help they can take the edge off some but they can not take it all away but can help get thur the day a little better, Rew was the first I met on this board and I can honestly say had it not been for him I would have proabley had a nervous break down he talked me thur it and helps me every day. Then I started meeting others and very thankful for each and every one of them on here.
Go on vacation with your husband it wont be easybut either is staying at home, your son would not want you to give up on life as I know my son doesnt either...I know easier said than done but please go and get away even if you have to come back early. I am here for you

I needed sleeping pills when this nightmare first started, but needes to stay on my anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds for over a year. When hubby was sentensed to 30 yrs, it tore all of us up. This wasnt what any of us wanted, including our daughter.

I just take things one day at a time. We are also appealing, in hopes of getting his sentence reduced. Right now, I am just waiting for the appeal process to finish and have an answer to our appeal. I'm hopeful, but realize what our odds are.

I hope your son has expressed a desire to appeal, so that he too could get his sentence reduced, so that you may see your son free again.

These lengthy sentenses only hurt the families, and do nothing to aid in the victims' healing. In our daughter's case, her dad's sentence has only caused her more harm.

I wish I could say it gets better. It doesn't, it's a daily rollercoaster that you can never get off. I have my good days, and I have my bad ones. I find it helps when I look forward to our next call or next visit. This always helps me to push forward.

Thanks for all your comforting words. I wish it was over. i wish that my son was free. But not my wishes will only be tears on my soul. Thanks for being my friends. It helps me trudge through this more easily.

Your son is very lucky to have you as his mom.
You can only take this life as it comes, one day at a time, one step at a time. My son is in Montana, I am in New York State. I know how the distance somehow makes this journey harder.
Please go on vacation with your husband, try to relax at least for a little while.
Sending hugs (( )) and prayers.