Families of SOs Community Group
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This is probably the wrong forum to post this under, but it's the group that I feel most at home with and I need to vent! Only in Lee County, Florida!!! A few years ago, my 1st ex husband Billie, beat me up. I went to the local DV office and filed a petition for a Injuction for Protection, when I went to my hearing, The judge denied the final order because of "Lack of Evidence" I didn't have any picture's, witnesses (yeah, right, like he'd put his hands on me with anyone around) nor did I contact Law Enforcement ( I do not contact Law Enforcement for any reason) Billie denied the allegations (suprise, suprise) and I was denied protection. Then, TODAY, I had my hearing from another Injuction for Protection against my 1st ex husband Justin. This man became so irate, because I refused to buy him drugs, that he slammed on the brakes, causing me to slam my head on the windshield. Then when I attempted to exit the vehicle, he took off like a bat out of hell and tried to throw me out of the moving vehicle. At that point, I wanted to contact Law Enforcement for the first time in my life, I reached for my phone, exclaiming to Justin that I was going to call the police. Justin proceeded to grab my forearm so tightly that it left a bruise for a week, and took my phone so I couldn't call the police. But because I had no picture's. or police report and no witnesses ( Jon withnessed the bruise on my arm as a result of the incident Jon had planned to be there today, but at the last minute an emergency meeting with the home owner of the house we're currently working on came up for this morning and he was unable to make it. I even requested to the judge that he contact Jon telephonically or reschedule the hearing so Jon could be there to testify. The judge IGNORED my request!!! Bottom line is, Justin has many friends in the legal field and knows pretty much EVERYONE at the courthouse, so he was able to Manipulate the system and again I am without protection. I guess that's what I get for putting my faith back into the judicial system here in Lee County, once again, after they had already failed me once!!!! Thank you for allowing me to vent, any and all comments and suggestions are welcome....
I believe DS has a group that deals with DV issues.
Please do not feel anyone can never ask any question about anything on this forum.... EVER!!!
The only dumb question is the question that never get asked!
If you feel it's too dumb to post publicly then PM a predominant member. If that member can't provide an appropriate response they will consult other trusted members. Either way you will get a response!!
Please do not give up!!!
You an PM me if you ant!!
Thanks for your reply!!
We don't judge either way any and you'll get an answer either way,
I understand about the Good ole boy mentality in the system - my advice would be to get a lawyer you trust (if you cannot find one then write a letter to the states attorney general - right now Pam Bondi) - you have a right (whether civil or criminal) to have a fair hearing and adjudication. Ask for a order to change venue. They can help you. I know from experience that you need to not vent anger in your communication - in fact playing a victim will work better.
Proof can be obtained by more than just pictures, detailed journals taken over time are good evidence, pictures can be taken from anywhere by anyone, if there was a bruise on your arm, anyone could have photographed that for you and emailed it to a new account that Justin wouldn't have access to with your phone.
I understand your frustration, but exactly what you are requesting from the judge (blind faith that you are telling the truth) is what most SOs dealt with when they were making their way through the justice system. Didn't matter what they said, whether the allegations were true or not, they were guilty because some girl said so. Not to give you ideas but if you were to just claim that he tried to sexually assault you, the police would be obligated to investigate and issue a protection order. But that would be playing the system and perjury.
I can sympathize with your frustration and my only suggestion is to investigate your gun and weapons laws. Find one you like, learn how to use it properly and carry it with you at all times and you won't need any protection order. You will be your own protection order.
And from here on out, each and every contact, threat, etc should be documented, either by complaint, photo, video, etc with time and date stamps if possible. Emailing things to yourself also works for that as the time and date stamp is in the email header.
Expecting the system to help you and leave you alone is just not possible, it seems to me that it is either one or the other. And once they are involved you can't really shake the system all that well if at all. Anyone that has dealt with a felony, like yourself, probably already knows that, which is why you prefer to never deal with them. I don't blame you one bit. But then you need to take care of YOU, which means finding a means to protect yourself that you can carry in your pocket and never leave home without it. Document the things that happen to you and around you in any manner you can, then wait.
It sounds like the person is a bully and they know how to bully you in a way to keep you at the precipice of calling the cops. So take that assumption out of the equation and be prepared to just defend yourself instead, no threatening to call the cops, when you call, you'll just call and until then you'll defend yourself and your life.
I think it was said best in the movie enough. "you have a divine right to protect your own life and the life of your offspring" I agree with that, can't really see a reason not to.