I am so sorry for this - yes the Holidays are very hard. It has been 4 years since my son could spend holidays with the family. He has not yet been able to meet his 2 and half year old nephew. One of the hardest things to deal with is the judgement of others. You have every right int he World to stand by your husband and if others do not understand that is their shortcoming. remind them of the marriage vows - they do not say you can leave if the [person commit a crime. In fact, I have always thought that the sickness and health part is taken too literally - it does not mean only physical sickness of one party or the other - but sickness and health of the marriage.

Advocate 2... That is what marriage vows represent. Your making a pact to uphold a sanctified union, whether it be better or worse, spiritually rich or poor, sickly or thriving.

The hardest thing is to be away from the one you have committed yourself to. Holidays are so commercialized to the world, those who have everything... Once you lose that piece of you in one way or another it brings everything into perspective. I'm sorry your in pain! Do what you know is right for you. Love him even from far away, and know he feels the same.

My heart is with you. We all understand what you are going through in regards to being judged. I was a very outgoing person who would talk to anyone about anything and since this all happened I've put myself in a bubble. If you feel in your heart you want to be there for him then you do that. Stand strong in your decision but always remember that you are not alone. We are all here to support you. As for the holidays, I feel for you. I just spent my birthday and my 16 year anniversary without my husband and it was hard. I actually went to my kids school and picked them up early so I can be with them (being with my children are an amazing comfort to me). The holidays aren't going to be easy but you will get through them. Let the tears come because sometimes you just need the release, and keep looking forward to the time when you will be spending the holidays together again.

I'm so sorry you are struggling. I can totally understand. I feel the judging every day too. It is not easy to be the one that stays, and yet we are just looked down on for it, not respected. I have been starting to feel the pressure from my church of all places and that really sucks. I will keep you in my prayers through these holidays!!

Mom 2404... The very place you'd expect to hear of God's forgiveness... Sad.

There is a reason I don't tell people at my church my past. A lot of people, probably most wouldn't have a problem but some would. If the apostle Paul can be redeemed after persecuting and killing early Christians, then why can't the church see the same hope in us? They believe in a small god, not the God I believe in.

As far as the people who stick by your RSO's, you are all angels. Seriously. To have the heart of God played out for a people the world is rejecting, it is beautiful. To say, "I know what you did, I know you made a horrible mistake, but I know you are so much more than one mistake and I love you anyways."

I can't begin to tell you how blessed I am with the support of my wife. You all make a difference.

I hope my son is lucky enough to find a woman that will love him like that