Families of SOs Community Group
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Long story short, my husband is an RSO for molesting a nine year old child. He has been out on probation for the last few years now and has a few more to go.
He is constantly struggling with the ramifications of his actions (no work, no money, no car of his own), and constantly dealing with his new diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and constantly struggling with his own feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
Frankly, I am getting very tired of struggling with him. To be around him you'd think every day was the worst day of your life. Man, sometimes I want us to take a walk in the park, but he can't because he drained himself on his daily pity party. I want to come home and tell him good news, but he's to sad about his own life that the most he can do is give me a half-hearted 'That's good.' I want to go a day without guessing the reason why he's upset.
Dealing with him has made me feel so jaded against marriage that I can never be genuinely happy for a woman no matter who she marries. And I definitely have my own opinions about dating felons or the mentally ill. It's too much. It's just too much. Would I do it all over again? Heck no. The only thing he has ever brought to the marriage is grief, grief, and more grief.
He is constantly struggling with the ramifications of his actions (no work, no money, no car of his own), and constantly dealing with his new diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and constantly struggling with his own feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
Frankly, I am getting very tired of struggling with him. To be around him you'd think every day was the worst day of your life. Man, sometimes I want us to take a walk in the park, but he can't because he drained himself on his daily pity party. I want to come home and tell him good news, but he's to sad about his own life that the most he can do is give me a half-hearted 'That's good.' I want to go a day without guessing the reason why he's upset.
Dealing with him has made me feel so jaded against marriage that I can never be genuinely happy for a woman no matter who she marries. And I definitely have my own opinions about dating felons or the mentally ill. It's too much. It's just too much. Would I do it all over again? Heck no. The only thing he has ever brought to the marriage is grief, grief, and more grief.
It is hard. It is very hard. Living with them and being with them is probably harder than being an RSO some days.
However, I can't give up on her. Most of those with mental illness, their significant other is the only light in their day, even if they don't show it.
I find something she enjoys, silly things that make her smile, say jokes. I make her leave the house. I set up a date night.
Other days she just can't snap out of it.
It is depressing and quite frankly annoying, but I have to look at the positives of her too.
Being and RSO is depressing. It took me a good month after I got out to finally realize there was a life worth living.
Having a mental illness in and of itself is a huge battle.
I understand what you are going through.