Families of SOs Community Group

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/ Families of SOs Support Group

So Glad to Have Found This

cjpendragon
cjpendragon
I've been married to a registered sex offender for three and a half years, and I've been drowning in a sea of people who just don't understand. The offense was 12 years ago and it's haunting our lives now. Our two children (one from a previous relationship) suffer and everyone just seems to think we're overreacting or that it's well-deserved or that it's easy to get it swept under the rug.

My husband was charged with lewd and lascivious conduct (no physical contact or exposed genitals) all that time ago and was told to register two times per year. Someone in the system down the road mistakenly put him down for molestation and he now registers four times a year. Yet, no one cares and they refuse to fix it.

I'm just tired of feeling alone. I'm hoping not to with this group. I love my husband and I'll defend and support him until I'm dead, but it can get heavy. I know he's worth it, I just wish others did too.
ThoughtAsWeak
ThoughtAsWeak
It's pain staking to have others judge you for something that happened 12 yrs ago. Regardless of offense, he has a lower risk of reoffense, than someone with no prior record of sexual abuse/assault.

Glad you found us, but sorry you need us.
cjpendragon
cjpendragon
Thank you. It's so relieving to have someone validate what his classes, my research and my own courses have taught me. I know around 24.6% of offenders reoffend, and I've never even questioned that he wouldn't be part of that. But it's heart-breaking to have everyone who's aware act either like he's a monster, or a victim, which is almost worse when he's trying to move on the best he can.
ThoughtAsWeak
ThoughtAsWeak
I've had many turn their backs on me because of hubby's offense. He did a horrible thing, and knows he did. He has been working on himself so he doesn't reoffend.

In my own research, I've found that familia offenders are low rusk offenders, along with his static score, validated my own feelings that he won't reoffend.

This group has been very helpful for me and so many others. Glad to see you here and hear from your experiences.
cakies08
cakies08
Being in a relationship with an SO is probably one of the hardest relationships. No one wants to her what the SO or you say. The courts don't care if they make a mistake because he's a SO (which apparently makes them no longer a person.) Even when the trial is going on if the person says they didn't do it they are in "denial." My fiancé tells me when he was in therapy if he said he didn't do what he was accused of he was in denial and could not leave therapy until he admitted to everything. It's not easy to make this go away... It may never go away and that is the hard part. Luckily there are sites like this were people in the same situation can talk and be understood.