Families of SOs Community Group
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So, I hired a lawyer and he's going to deal with the clarification from the FL judge that says my son doesn't have to take SO Treatment. But his PO says he has to start taking treatment.
All jurisdiction is going to be sent up here to PA instead of in FL, but that might take a while.
My son has an appointment with his PO on Tuesday and I know he's going to ask my son about treatment. I've made an appointment with someone for my son Tuesday eve... altho I haven't told him yet and I know he's going to be very unhappy about it. He's not supposed to have to take this, but until we get this straightened out the lawyer said to not go against what the PO says because that would be bad.
So now.. what does my son say when the therapist asks why he did it? He accidentally downloaded the 1 cp that he got charged with by accident. If he says it was an accident isn't he going to be not believed and it would go against him getting better. This is what's stressing my son out so much. He's afraid to say anything and afraid not to.. This is what happened when the ICE agents were in his house trashing it looking for cp. They wanted an answer and wouldn't leave him alone until he said he did something. It's traumatizing all over again.
I'm not looking forward to telling my son that he has an appointment next week. What do we do?
All jurisdiction is going to be sent up here to PA instead of in FL, but that might take a while.
My son has an appointment with his PO on Tuesday and I know he's going to ask my son about treatment. I've made an appointment with someone for my son Tuesday eve... altho I haven't told him yet and I know he's going to be very unhappy about it. He's not supposed to have to take this, but until we get this straightened out the lawyer said to not go against what the PO says because that would be bad.
So now.. what does my son say when the therapist asks why he did it? He accidentally downloaded the 1 cp that he got charged with by accident. If he says it was an accident isn't he going to be not believed and it would go against him getting better. This is what's stressing my son out so much. He's afraid to say anything and afraid not to.. This is what happened when the ICE agents were in his house trashing it looking for cp. They wanted an answer and wouldn't leave him alone until he said he did something. It's traumatizing all over again.
I'm not looking forward to telling my son that he has an appointment next week. What do we do?
Some do not like it but it keeps my karma clean.
My husband was falsely accused and was railroaded into a plea, so he had to go through treatment. He was advised by the guy that did the pre-sentence investigation on how to deal with treatment. stick to the complaint and what was plead to.
He told them he saw that one in the list and clicked on it but deleted it. That it was disturbing. But .. he has to admit his guilt. I don't see a way that he can sit there and 'admit' to anything except opening a cp and then deleting it without watching it.. and that won't work.
I just don't want it to bit him in the butt in the end. He's supposed to 'own it' . Hi PO asked him why he went to those sites.. He never went to a site. The PO asked me what I thought of it and I told him that my son downloaded over 2330 music videos and that there was 2 cp in there. And that if he was really into it he would have had a lot more and that I wasn't concerned.
I remember thinking about how he was going to complete treatment having to lie about it all because nothing happened. But to be successful in treatment you have to 'comply', but compliance doesn't mean that you are the bad person they want to make you out to be. You are complying to SURVIVE. If you and your son can think about the motions that you both have to go through while he is on paper as a short term thing where you are in 'survival mode' and you adjust your lives to accommodate those short term rules that eventually will end.
If he plead to it, did prison time and is not on probation/supervision, he is going to have to own the crime even if it was an accident, unintentional, or whatever. That was the consequences of taking the plea. (if I recall your son took a plea)
I can tell you that your response to the PO has them thinking that you are minimizing his crime, which is normal for parents of offenders. It might be best to avoid contact with the PO more often than not. I never talk to my husband's PO unless I am working from home and he stops for a home visit. My husband has been out a little over a year and a half and he was just reduced to once a month visits with his PO. Supervision is a shock for everyone, but I can assure you that it will get easier, more routine. What sucks is that the spontaneous things one could do, go for a weekend trip ect, have to be planned out way in advance.
hang tough... it'll get easier eventually...
I need to proof read better..
My son's PO brought me into his office last month to make sure I understood what my son did , etc, because he lives with me. I want as little interaction as possible .. as I tend to be too much on the side of my son's innocence.
I guess we'll just deal with it one day at a time. Thanks
Since you have an attorney see if he can write something up for the therapist explaining there are further court proceedings in progress for your son and even though he is under federal supervision and in treatment he cannot be compelled to incriminate himself by anyone for any reason until those proceedings final and it has been determined treatment is a mandatory condition of probation/parole. The therapist will back off of forcing the issue after receiving proper notification.