Families of SOs Community Group
WE HAVE MOVED!!! ............................. ............................... ......................... ............................ ............................. .......................... HERE: http://support-for-families.boards.net ............. ................ ............... ................ ............................... .................Please create a profile...
Someone already asked a question about dating a registrant, I'll ask one from the perspective of a registrant.
To any RSOs here, how do YOU tell those you're dating about your past?
As for me, I tell them quickly enough but I give them a chance to see the real me BEFORE the label. I look for women with no kids or beyond childbearing age, and people who I perceive as progressive or liberal in their thinking, or more "open-minded."
I gauge them into their attitudes by using more general statements like asking them how they feel about forgiveness or how people getting out of prison should have the chance to become productive citizens. Then I slowly get closer to dropping the news to them. If I hear something I don't like in their replies, I back off and sever the relationship. I do it within 3 weeks of first meeting a prospective date.
Any thoughts?
To any RSOs here, how do YOU tell those you're dating about your past?
As for me, I tell them quickly enough but I give them a chance to see the real me BEFORE the label. I look for women with no kids or beyond childbearing age, and people who I perceive as progressive or liberal in their thinking, or more "open-minded."
I gauge them into their attitudes by using more general statements like asking them how they feel about forgiveness or how people getting out of prison should have the chance to become productive citizens. Then I slowly get closer to dropping the news to them. If I hear something I don't like in their replies, I back off and sever the relationship. I do it within 3 weeks of first meeting a prospective date.
Any thoughts?
They do not realize the emotional strain that is put into play when those words are first spoken from you. The world has created this stigma that sex offender means one of many one word sterotypes, dirty, child, sex, horrible, dispicable.... and I'll stop there.
I guess this is where I feel it is an opportunity for you to shine, and break that stigma... it's much easier said than done, but you have to keep moving forward, and in a way BIGBEARSHEART, I agree with you, you must learn to like you and be ok with you (much much easier said than done), so that you truly aren't depending on someone else for your happiness. You've been forced by the system for so long to belive that you are worthless, and unworthy of love, and that the female population is a horrid race that you should choose not to co-exist with.
Sometimes I believe that the only person that can love someone in your circumstances is one that completely understands "unconditional" love. They are hard to find. But have hope because they are out there.
And keep moving forward, the power of positive thinking CAN move you.
DO NOT LET WHAT YOU CANNOT DO, STOP YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU CAN DO.