My son was gone for 11 months and when he came he very quiet. We had to be patience with him, and let him do things on his own time, such as when and if he wanted to see people. Wish you the best of luck.

My husband was just released this past Sunday after a 20 month sentence. It has been challenging to say the least. For me, I am the one having the hardest time readjusting. Everything in my life has changed since he has been gone. I am still trying to sort out all of the emotions that go along with this terrible nightmare. I would suggest therapy as an individual and also as a couple. I hope the transition goes smoothly for you!

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We all dream about getting them home but when dreams meat reality and the stress of creating a new normal well, in my own experience, a lot of relationships take a long time to recover and some of the women I met and made friends with standing in line somehow never did recover. One thing, when my guy got out I wanted to be with him, go everywhere with him live in his pocket and he said he didn't need a Warden on the outside! It hurt to hear that but I had to back off and attend to my own adjustment. We survived even though there was a revocation (for drinking) and another release/ coming home after the first Home-coming..

We survived (and finally thrived as they say) but Coming home to The SEX Offender Registry and supervision is an endless adjustment. A friend in AZ says they wanted wives to attend a program (they called the people enrolled "escorts!" not wardens) but she quit because it was mostly expecting wives and family members to monitor the release/safety plans and report" as though snitching was a community service. Not that her husband was secretly re-offending but just as when courts expect the "offender" to wear an ankle bracelet while awaiting investigations or when sent home, my home is our home and I will not be an electronic prison or anyone's warden.
Community Works: The Welcome Home Project
Community Works

January 2014 – Present (1 year 9 months)|Oakland CA

A possible resource: Stories about Coming Home. Micky Duxbury is coordinator/ the writer/photographer for The Welcome Home Project created an educational and inspirational photo and story book that profiles formerly incarcerated Alameda County residents who have been become successful citizens. The booklet is available to organizations serving the needs of those in re-entry.


Micky Duxbury is a possible contact: "My work with the Welcome Home Project has been awarded a CAL Humanities Community Storytelling grant. www.communityworkswest.org/index.php/welcome-home"

My husbands being released in 30 days. I'm excited but yet terrified of the "what's next" part. I have started marriage counselling on my own, he will join me in future sessions after his release. It's going to be strange but I'll let you know how it works out!

My husband was released 3 1/2 months ago after 4 1/2 years. It was really strange. He just came out a door and at first it felt like nothing had changed. I just wanted my relationship back with him the way it was. It felt wonderful, but even though I had forgiven him, I knew it could never be the same.

For me, his actions were a huge betrayal of basic trust. We are in therapy together now. I told me that he could make amends to me by coming clean in therapy about what actually happened. Its so bizarre to think that the events that led to his imprisonment happened 8 years ago. It is only now that we are able to talk about it.

His time in prison was like being in a freezer. There were so many things that just could never be discussed. Now we are talking about it, which is a good thing, but it is very painful. Its painful to think that I trusted him completely...maybe to the point of projecting qualities on him that he really didn't have. Well...thats for our next session.

In the meantime, the state I live in is coming to its senses a little about this registry thing. The General Assembly is still as punishment crazy as ever, but what actually happens in the practice of applying the rules is a different story. I was expecting the GPS monitor, having to handout postcards for notification or at least having to tell the neighbors. None of that was required. Being on the registry is considered notification enough and people can look at it or not. GPS monitors are reserved for people who are considered serious risks for reoffense. Now, he is limited to a 50 mile radius, but if there are no problems, even that may be lifted.

So that wasn't so bad...

I guess the worst part for me is that I still feel like my heart is being twisted around. I don't know how long it will take for this to settle out, if it ever really does. Betrayal is tough one.