Families of SOs Community Group
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Hi there! I just learn so much from you on this site that helps me better understand the issues that my fiancee is facing. It is very stressful, but we are managing. He just moved to Louisiana from Texas where he is now a Tier 3 level, has to wear a gps monitor and has a curfew of 9pm-6am. In Texas he was free to move about and did not have curfew. Just reporting to his probation officer.
He is 53. He plead no le contendre and was given 8 years probation. He was a successful executive, living in a beautiful upscale part of Texas and dated a woman for 6 years who had a teen daughter come live with them.
The gist is that his ex girlfriend and her daughter got mad when he decided that they should break instead of marry and asked them to leave his house. They went to DA and said he touched her etc and that she was 14 at the time. She was 17 a month from being18 when she made this accusation and had lived in the house. She became angry that he got probation instead of prison time so they went back and pretended to be the mother of another girl alleging that he had inappropriate contact with the daughter's friend who was spending the night over. The DA realized that it was a lie but was not able to drop charges they just let things run concurrent. A month later he was served with $1Million dollar law suit by the alleged victim. HMMM...Sounds fishy to me...Anyway, no need to ramble...here are my questions:
1. He must attend mandatory sex therapy session with a psychologist as part of his 8 year probation. What is this about? What takes place in these sessions and what are the expected outcomes? Is this the way to get the monitor off?
2. We are in the initial stages of buying a house. Does he have to disclose to the seller and the mortage company that he is registered sex offender.
3. Is anyone here on probation whose charge will go away after they complete the probation, however the lifetime registration stays? I don't understand that.
Your insight is greatly appreciated! You are amazing!
He is 53. He plead no le contendre and was given 8 years probation. He was a successful executive, living in a beautiful upscale part of Texas and dated a woman for 6 years who had a teen daughter come live with them.
The gist is that his ex girlfriend and her daughter got mad when he decided that they should break instead of marry and asked them to leave his house. They went to DA and said he touched her etc and that she was 14 at the time. She was 17 a month from being18 when she made this accusation and had lived in the house. She became angry that he got probation instead of prison time so they went back and pretended to be the mother of another girl alleging that he had inappropriate contact with the daughter's friend who was spending the night over. The DA realized that it was a lie but was not able to drop charges they just let things run concurrent. A month later he was served with $1Million dollar law suit by the alleged victim. HMMM...Sounds fishy to me...Anyway, no need to ramble...here are my questions:
1. He must attend mandatory sex therapy session with a psychologist as part of his 8 year probation. What is this about? What takes place in these sessions and what are the expected outcomes? Is this the way to get the monitor off?
2. We are in the initial stages of buying a house. Does he have to disclose to the seller and the mortage company that he is registered sex offender.
3. Is anyone here on probation whose charge will go away after they complete the probation, however the lifetime registration stays? I don't understand that.
Your insight is greatly appreciated! You are amazing!
Every state is different but in FL even though there are supposedly ways to get monitor off during probation most judges do not let the RSO - but in FL it comes off when probation is done.
As far as I know he does not have to disclose but before you buy make sure the state, the county, and the city agree that the home is acceptable according to the laws of each. I would also go to the registry site and search the neighborhood and the zip code. Are there any other RSOs near there?
Sorry I do not understand the part about the charge going away? However the registry part is usually becasue in most states it says in the law that anyone ever convicted of ...in FL it even says even if adjudication is with held (so they cover all the bases)
Is there a reason he had to leave TX? Sounds like I would go back there as soon as possible
http://www.csom.org/pubs/cap/2/2_6.htm
The therapy is usually some type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) which focuses on this:
"The core principles of CBT are identifying negative or false beliefs and testing or restructuring them. Oftentimes someone being treated with CBT will have homework in between sessions where they practice replacing negative thoughts with with more realistic thoughts based on prior experiences or record their negative thoughts in a journal."
https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Treatment/Psychotherapy
And
http://www.csom.org/pubs/treatment_brief.pdf
Once I completed therapy probation was a different experience. Went from more negative to more positive almost right away. I have no idea about Louisiana rules for probation as far as the monitor goes. But if I were in your shoes I would leave the south as soon as possible! The Bible Belt is the most conservative part of the country, they say they love Jesus but they do not understand grace, especially for his situation. Look to move to the northeast or northwest parts of the country and I can almost promise you his life on the registry will be better in any of those states.
2. As far as disclosing it to seller and mortgage, I don't know Louisiana law but I don't think you do, and I definitely wouldn't.
The only issue is if there is residency restrictions you need to make sure it's not within those. So you can go to the local police and ask them to determine if the residence meets the residency restrictions. Get everything in writing!
If you are wary of going to the police maybe go see a lawyer and ask their advice. Definitely ask his PO for advice and to approve it as well. Again get it in writing!
3. Charges for sex offenses will never go away, they can almost never be expunged unless it's a juvenile crime and even then it's an uphill battle and only available in some states. They can however be pardoned. But again I think you can count the number of pardons for sex offenders of the entire country on one hand. It's political suicide at this point.
People stay on the registry until they can get off of it. Each state has their own rules for how this works or if they allow you to get off the registry at all. Moving is a terrible idea when on probation because it mixes everything up and confuses the issues. Some states will allow you to petition to get off the registry in 10, 15 or 25 years in the community offense free, some make you stay on permanently, which brings me to the major point, location, location, location!
That's why it is so important to get the best quality of life by the state you live in. It is very state dependent and the south is probably the worst place to live. The more conservative the state the worse it usually is. The one big exception is California, liberal state with bad SO laws. So think Connecticut, Delaware, Maine,
Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington etc. as usually better places to be in the registry than Louisiana. I don't know about Alaska or Hawaii specifically. Even if you cannot get off the registry in these states your quality of life will be better.
Hope this helps,
-Independent
Thank you so much for your insight. It really helps us both very much.
My fiancee is here in Louisiana because of me. I live here and for personal reasons I am unable to leave state for a few more years. So, I love this man as he has sacrificed his "freedom" while on probation to be with me. We are trying to put this whole entire nightmare behind us and move on by buying a house together. Thank you for the insight of using the registry to see what are the perimeters.
I am very concerned about the sex therapy sessions as I don't understand why you have to admit that you did something when you did not. I realize that I was not there, but I have read all the legal paperwork and depositions and he has insisted on his innocence all along. This allegation was motivated by financial motives. His ex girlfriend and her daughter wanted him out of the house and in prison so that they could get their hands on his money. When that failed, they went back and made up another lie, but the legal system did not add any further time to him. So, at any rate, I am stressed out and I can't wait to see how the class action suit will be viewed by the Courts.
I just keep thinking that If someone who has committed murder and has the right to rebuild their life after they have paid their debt to society why does a sex offender have to carry that scarlet letter for ever. Is this something that we must also place on someone's tombstone? UGH! This country should be ashamed of itself. No progress made.
Thank you so much!
https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/nolo_contendere
So you are saying the class action is the ex's daughter and her 'imaginary friend'?
This is where having money should help, he can get a good lawyer for the civil suit. The girls will have to prove by the preponderance of the evidence (50.1%) that the actions they claim happened. It seems like it will be he said she said/she said.
Murders are allowed to rebuild their lives, but in very few scenarios are they only given 8 years probation.
"after they have paid their debt to society why does a sex offender have to carry that scarlet letter for ever."
That is what we are all wondering too! The long and short of it is that society has a wrong picture of sex offenders. They think only monsters can do such crimes and in this thinking they are making punishments fit for monsters. 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted by they are 18, so yes, we have a problem. Men in trench coats hiding in the park are not the most common situations of abuse and are not anywhere close to the big problem. We have built laws around stopping these types of stranger crimes with the registry, amber alerts, residency restrictions etc. However 93% of the time children are being abused by people they know (36% family, 57% acquaintances).
So people think all sex offenders are monsters who are sick in the head and would repeatedly rape their children if given the chance. In most situation this couldn't be farther from the truth. This is what happens when you base laws on emotional hysteria and not logic and research.
Still want to reiterate even if you don't leave now, I'd look into places that have better laws for RSOs. The south just isn't a good place for RSOs.
Either that, or their gravestone will say SEX OFFENDER lies here, and they have to be buried x feet away from any child buried there. They will also mandate that when they die, that they must register their new place, or Be violated and sent to purgatory.
This is what FL site says ...
In FAQs - "Why does a deceased sexual offender/predator still appear on the website?
Sexual offenders/predators reported deceased remain on the website for one year after the date of death as provided on the death certificate. This allows victims, the community, and local law enforcement time to be notified."
It is absurd!