Families of SOs Community Group

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harpssong 09/13/2014

to keep a long story shortish... bf is in jail but getting a financial settlement. I'm 7 months pregnant and struggling to figure how I'm going to make it for the first few months. I've told him that if he doesn't give me the full settlement to get through that time I'll not continue to have a relationship with him or to be his helper/contact on the outside.
did I go too far or am I being unfair to him??

waterslide 09/13/2014

he need to do it share ok

ThoughtAsWeak 09/13/2014

And if that financial settlement could help him retain an attorney to avoid prison time, so he can be there for you and the baby???

harpssong 09/14/2014

its no where near enough for that, it wouldn't even bail him out...

Suchaslife 09/14/2014

Wouldn't that money help him while his in and save you from putting money on his books for him? Yes it hard having them in and they can't help much at all just remember he may need some money when he gets out as well.

EchoMoon 09/14/2014

i could see maybe asking for at least half of it in order to get you over the hump. but not taking all of it. if he does give all of it to you? it would only be fair to make sure that he has the money he needs in his commissary acct too.

Advocate2 09/14/2014

I agree he needs money while inside but also (and I am assuming he is the father of the baby) he needs to support the child as best he can. Children as very expensive and I know first hand what it is like to raise one without the other parent being able or willing to contribute to the cost.

harpssong 09/14/2014

guys, I'm talking about $1700 here... which is enough to get me through till I can put him in daycare. his parents put money on is account weekly...

october2014 09/14/2014

Thanks for the clarification. That would have been nice to know before we started to send responses.

ThoughtAsWeak 09/14/2014

I my opinion, I still think you went too far. Discuss it with him, don't demand it. Tell him why you are asking the full amount. Maybe his parents are demand the same of him, to help pay to put money on his books. Maybe there are things you don't know about, that he was planning on using the money for- valid reasons.

I understand where you are coming from, but demanding it sounds like your money hungry, and that you'll cut your losses after you get the money anyways. I'm sure that's not the case, but from his perspective, that's what it will look like - especially with him in jail/prison.

harpssong 09/14/2014

thank you all for the response, they've all put a different spin on the situation and that's what I wanted! :-)

ThoughtAsWeak 09/14/2014

Glad we can be of help :-)

Hope your conversation goes well and all parties are happy with the outcome.

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