So I really have a couple of questiong and some background. Any help would be appreicated.....
Backgroud.....
The po officer that is handling my partners probation asked that I come in and talk with him to answer any questions about my partners rules and to see if I can be supportive. He hasn't allowed us any contact since the sentencing. We are married in the native american way and the PO doesn't believe its valid. We have a business together and must run it through a third party. We got permission to speak on the phone and for me to drop stuff off at his place (had to move because of our son being a minor). So thats the background story. BTW my partners offence was kissing someone while she claimed to be taking an sleeping pill (which really was an antipsychotic but that word wasn't allowed or the medication name in court even though the dose was within treatment for bipolar) No force, no violence. He even continued to be her rooomate for the next two weeks until he decided to move out and marry me. Then she pressed charges. Anyway we are here. So .....
1. The PO wont allow contact... Can he do that? I have come in for interview and agreed to go to couples thereapy for SO. Also last week I went to drop off some paperwork and a few groceries and two men came over a 6 foot fence at me. I screamed and was rude when I found out they were PO officers checking on residence. I told them they have his work schedule and I had permission to drop of stuff. The PO called and asked why I had assumed that the groceries were ok when he could get his own? Then he stated that being rude to other officers suggested that I was just giving him lip service. I explained I live in a small town and when two unidentified men come over a 6 foot fence instead of through the open gate I get defensive....

2. Then I went in for another interview. he went over the written rules again. (there are none preventing contact with a wife) He stated because my marriage is not state approved only valid on the reservation we are dating and he is treating it as such. Can he just decide its not valid? Can he do that?
3. Also he stated that I had better get used to dealing with whatever PO officers want to do when checking the residence as this is now my life....
4. I am the leader of our community native church and its the only one in colorado I explained this and he stated my partner could go to lodge but not have contact with me but I had to figure it out???? How do I do this?
5. Then he threatened to cut off all contact if my partner could not pass his first lie detector test...

Are they just using me as bait? How am I supposed to deal with his PO? None of these other rules are written down anywhere (I do have the phone contact permission in writing and a recording of him stating I could drop stuff off, and a recording of both of my live meetings with him)

Thanks for any feedback, I don't know what I would do without this group! It has helped so much. Someday I hope to give back