Susieduty: Welcome to Daily Strength....Consider your son as a whole person...not just someone who should be forever judged/ rejected based on this. Keep on loving your son. He is going to need his family for a long time no matter what his conviction especially since you say he will be in prison for a long time. There will be people who blame you for continuing to love and support your son. On Daily Strength you don't have to turn against your son to have support.on daily Strength..You are not alone...Whatever you feel there are people here who understand and are here for you. Take care. Janet Mackie.

Susie, I have two sons in prison. Both of them are serving long sentences for sex crimes. They're in two different states, so it's not cheap or easy to visit them. I love them dearly and will continue to support them as long as I live. Welcome to this group. HUGS!

My heart goes out to you guys (Susie and Honest). I wish there was something I could do to ease the pain but until this issue gets brought to the forefront Sex Offenders will ALWAYS be test subjects-and thats not right!

Susie, welcome to DS. Im still quite new on here, but already I have recieved more support from the lovely people on here, then anyone else in my life through my husbands sentence.

What you are going through might seem so alien to you, but we are all going through it, and on DS, we go through it together. You are not alone :)

Your son is still the same person you knew and loved before his arrest, remember that. Dont be pressured into changing your feelings towards him, he is your son and you are not in the wrong for loving him. You can hate what he has done, but still love him for the person he is.

Please keep in contact with this group, you will gain so much comfort and strength to be strong for yourself and your son.

Welcome to our community. Read thru the threads, learn you aren't alone. We have some very wise folks here. They have helped me thru some very dark hours <3

I really feel for you Suzie, you are going through such a rough time but you are not alone in it. It is difficult but soon your heightened emotions will start to calm a bit. I was a complete mess for ages after my husband was arrested, even worse when he went to prison. I stood by him even though others tried to change my mind about him, made me feel insane like my judgement was clouded. Yes I love him but I did have the moments of wondering if i really should support him but I am glad I did. My husbands mother asked him what she could have done to prevent it ever happening and he replied with "nothing would have stopped it", they were his poor decisions and he is paying for it.

DS is full of wonderful folk who can help out with any questions you may have, any ranting you need to do. I wouldn't have gotten through the past year without everyone. We are all here to help and will make sure you are not alone.

My heart is with you. I promise you will have good days with those bad days. Always remember the act he committed doesn't define him as a human being. Your love and support will give him the courage he needs to survive this. My son is in year 5 of a 20 year sentence for a high profile heinous crime in Canada. He is 8 hours away but I manage to see him one weekend a month. I still love him and I enjoy being with him.

You are understood here....we are all traveling down similar roads and those roads are so lonely. This forum has been so helpful and reassuring. God bless you and your son.

Mary

Susie, I understand your feelings. I went through them myself. I was shocked and horrified by what my son had done. He is my youngest, never in trouble before, not even a parking ticket. He was living at home when he got busted (he had moved back home due to some serious medical issues). My son is now serving a 15 year sentence in a facility in another state. It is an illness, my son was an addict, but instead of drugs or alcohol, he was addicted to CP.
I have seen him once in 2 years. It took a 7 hour drive, and an overnight stay in a hotel. It was not an inexpensive visit (about $250 for rental car and gas, plus a hotel for 2 people overnight.) I was very blessed, my other son and daughter in law paid for everything, so my son and I could make the trip.

I wish you the best, you can all get through this. I am around if you want to talk.

Susie, I too know how you feel. It is so hard. I felt embarrassed, disappointed in him for letting himself down and the rest of his family. I felt sad every time I looked at a picture of him as a little boy and I would cry and then ask myself why? I wanted so badly to talk to him about my feelings but knew I could not because it only brought him down and made him sad and angry at himself. But I think the very worse was the feeling as a Mom that I could do nothing, I mean nothing to help him. I felt so helpless when he cried on the phone to me or called me "Mommy" again. I longed for the days when he was small and all I had to do was hold him and wipe away his tears. It was so hard to go visit him in jail the very first him. And even more difficult when he was transferred to prison. But I made sure I made the trips, I made sure I answered his calls and I wrote to him each and every day and told him I loved him and that he would and I would get through this. He is your baby Susie and yes you would like to place both hands around his neck and squeeze, because that is how I felt. Once I saw him, heard his voice or read one of his letters I was reminded that God blessed me with my son and I would always be his Mom. Humor worked too.

I will tell you this on his Graduation from High School I gave him the Dr. Seuss Book "Oh The Places You"ll Go! I can remember asking him if he remember that gift of the book on the day he graduated and he replied "Yes". It then that I asked "Can you tell me what page you read Prison? Yeah and then we both laughed.

I too wish you strength in getting through this. And keep talking it does wonders to get out your feelings.

I just read all of your post ,they are wonderful ,I have tears in my eyes ,this is where I belong finally have someone to talk to that truly understands , I have had one friend on here that has given me the reason to hold my head up and know what I was thinking was ok, it wasn't my fault and it's OK to love my son but hate what he did , it's addiction , and I'm trying to understand it , thank you all for being here for me and hope as I grow and learn I can be here for you , wow ,I am so surprised that you all feel like I do . Hugs Susie

Susieduty, have you been to the new support forum at http://support-for-families.boards.net? A bunch of people moved over there and there is more discussion going on there. I hope you find the support you need here, but if not, please do visit and register at the other forum. I know for certain there are others who read along there going through very similar experiences to what you're going through with your son and would find comfort in trying to understand all of this together with you.