Families of SOs Community Group
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My brother was arrested two weeks ago for having underaged pornography on his computer. I am pretty convinced he will be charged and convicted based on what he told me of the amount on his computer. We have no idea what his life will be like as a SO. I don't even know where to begin to try and help him. Any direction or knowledge would be appareciated.
The judicial system is very new to us as a family as will be the prison system For us truly it has been one day at a time Ask your brother how you can help. Showing support with a phone call offering assistance with mundane stuff just being his brother with unconditional love.....just suggestions Like a fellow contributor has said the fear is real but life can still be doable I can tell you as a mom it’s been very painful. It’s awhole new world. Stay strong
My bf was convicted 25 years ago of molesting his ex girlfriends daughter. A bogus lie.
It's really been hard for him if he applied for jobs and that shows up.
Cops in our small town treat him like a leper.
People talk at bars and lunchrooms of jobs, about child molesters terrible, not knowing he has the label.
He is a great person who had a spiteful ex.
Hate to say it but if at all possible they can't tell anyone they're a sex offender. People who are their friends turn against them when they are find out.
He's been lucky that some friends have listened to what happened and believe he's innocent.
He's also been lucky to find temp agencies that have found him jobs knowing his label. Somehow they work with the information and know places that hire Sex offenders.
He's learned if at all possible keep his label a secret.
If they have to move away from where people know about it, they should. We did. Made it better.
My fiance was charged in May with similar charges. He pled guilty last week. He voluntarily went in to try to make sentencing less last week. Sentencing will be in the end of January. I have no idea what life will be like after, but I can speak to the process.
This was the hardest week of my life in the hardest year of my life. Here is what has gotten me and us through it.
Be understanding and don't judge. Be there for him to talk to. Stick up for him even if it means people judge you. Talk up and down about the good things about him and why you love him. Build him up in other's eyes and in his own. Create normal situations. Make him go to support groups/therapy. From what my fiance says from his support group - life can go on fairly normally. Especially once it's over and he finds a job. Also, wine. Wine has helped me.
I agree with @pinetree I have never had an experience with the court/prison system. We are lucky that we have means for a lawyer, and to support him through it. It has really opened my eyes to some issues in our world. I have learned more about compassion and empathy in this past year than all my 34 years.