Families of SOs Community Group
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I'm writing to tell my testimony.
I met a guy when I was 17 years old and thought he was my life. I thought it was love until things changed. I became a victim of emotional and very bad physical abuse. He had me believing that no one liked me and that I had no one but him. I distanced myself from everyone and was isolated every single day. I've been stabbed, choked till I fell asleep and just was a punching bag whenever he was mad. I wasn't strong enough to leave then, this one particular day changed my life forever. He woke up and I don't know what came over him to make me do what he asked. He asked me to take an inappropriate picture with a minor. I said no a million times and it didn't work. The thoughts that came to my mind was "why me, He's going to leave you, He's all that you have, Remember that" I had to do it. I still wasn't strong enough then. After that he used that picture against me everyday. He seen that I started not to listen to him and wanted to get away. The day that I ended up leaving he put me in the hospital with me having to get 7 stitches, he punched me in the mouth because I found my phone that he use to take and hide from me so I couldn't use it. He told me if I ever left him he would ruin my life. I left him that day, and that's when my life was ruined. I went to make a report about him punching me in the mouth and they informed him so he decided to go to the police station. He showed them the picture and said I sent that to him. They called me in, I went and told my side of the story. I had evidence, such as text messages and social media post that he did that showed that he was blackmailing with the picture. They we're on my side all along but still felt like I should've known better, which I did but I had no other way out, I just wasn't strong enough at the time. They always ask "why didn't you leave" you cant ask a person who was mentally and physically abused that because its the toughest thing to do. So I had a public defender, he did pretty good but I still ended up going to federal prison in Waseca, MN. I did 17 months and have 5 years of probation, I got out on January 18th 2013. I have about 3 years left on probation. He ended up doing about 3 years and some change. I just wish I could've left him but it didn't happen that way. I have my family that supports me and has always been on my side just didn't like the fact that I chose him over everything and everybody. I turn 25 on January 24th. I'm from Miami Florida,I cant find any reliable jobs, working for my stepdad new café, I'm transient so that's a HUGE deal here. Its really tough to be a 24 year old black young women with a sex offender label. I even ended up getting arrested again for not staying in the right area. How did they find out, I have no idea. I slept there a couple days and got in trouble. So now I have state charges against me. Its just so hard but I believe things will get better. So I joined this group to get advice and see if I can find anything out for myself. I don't judge anyone, that's not my place. NEVER DID NEVER WILL! But always remember This Too Shall Pass.
I met a guy when I was 17 years old and thought he was my life. I thought it was love until things changed. I became a victim of emotional and very bad physical abuse. He had me believing that no one liked me and that I had no one but him. I distanced myself from everyone and was isolated every single day. I've been stabbed, choked till I fell asleep and just was a punching bag whenever he was mad. I wasn't strong enough to leave then, this one particular day changed my life forever. He woke up and I don't know what came over him to make me do what he asked. He asked me to take an inappropriate picture with a minor. I said no a million times and it didn't work. The thoughts that came to my mind was "why me, He's going to leave you, He's all that you have, Remember that" I had to do it. I still wasn't strong enough then. After that he used that picture against me everyday. He seen that I started not to listen to him and wanted to get away. The day that I ended up leaving he put me in the hospital with me having to get 7 stitches, he punched me in the mouth because I found my phone that he use to take and hide from me so I couldn't use it. He told me if I ever left him he would ruin my life. I left him that day, and that's when my life was ruined. I went to make a report about him punching me in the mouth and they informed him so he decided to go to the police station. He showed them the picture and said I sent that to him. They called me in, I went and told my side of the story. I had evidence, such as text messages and social media post that he did that showed that he was blackmailing with the picture. They we're on my side all along but still felt like I should've known better, which I did but I had no other way out, I just wasn't strong enough at the time. They always ask "why didn't you leave" you cant ask a person who was mentally and physically abused that because its the toughest thing to do. So I had a public defender, he did pretty good but I still ended up going to federal prison in Waseca, MN. I did 17 months and have 5 years of probation, I got out on January 18th 2013. I have about 3 years left on probation. He ended up doing about 3 years and some change. I just wish I could've left him but it didn't happen that way. I have my family that supports me and has always been on my side just didn't like the fact that I chose him over everything and everybody. I turn 25 on January 24th. I'm from Miami Florida,I cant find any reliable jobs, working for my stepdad new café, I'm transient so that's a HUGE deal here. Its really tough to be a 24 year old black young women with a sex offender label. I even ended up getting arrested again for not staying in the right area. How did they find out, I have no idea. I slept there a couple days and got in trouble. So now I have state charges against me. Its just so hard but I believe things will get better. So I joined this group to get advice and see if I can find anything out for myself. I don't judge anyone, that's not my place. NEVER DID NEVER WILL! But always remember This Too Shall Pass.
and your right, this too shall pass!
Although with the state charges that are now coming, moving is going to be that much harder. Have you been able to get a public defender for the charges against you and what is their prognosis of the case the state has against you? or is this a City of Miami kind of thing?
You're right, if a person has never been abused it is hard to grasp the kind of control another can have over even the strongest of personalities and people. Law enforcement officers, not all of them mind you, but it only takes a few to really give a profession of people a reputation. But Law enforcement officers, due to their training the types of personalities that gravitate to the profession and the power that is perceived by the public conditions them to be bullies. Those that aren't bullies are overshadowed by those that are. But the environment cultivates the bully in each of those people. Since they are also tasked with jobs like crowd control, they are always looking for ways to control others safely and effectively. Which only means that their bullying behavior is many times justified too. But what seems to happen is they begin to just bully because they can or because they believe they are right and righteous.
I would start by finding out about the charges that the state has levied against you... you don't need to have them add more time or put you in state prison or anything like that. Have you talked with your PD yet about the charges and what they will entail?
The Fed PO is also a Federal employee and while you may not have been violating any federal laws, the local ones are kinda out of his jurisdiction and I believe that they use this to their advantage in situations such as yours. I agree, it's BS.
My name is Ron
What were you convicted of? Was the guy charged and convicted of anything? Good Luck with whatever tough decision you end up making.
Welcome