Your story of course is different (everyone's is different) but you are not alone - I dare say there is not a hardship or emotion that someone else hear has endured. I am so sorry but you have found others that share the same heartache

Your boyfriend may be a very lovable person. I know my two incarcerated sons certainly are. But your boyfriend sounds like my sons. They took extreme risks with their futures, because they believed the laws and mores of society didn't apply to them and thay they could get away with breaking them. They found out the hard way that they do apply to them.

Your boyfriend sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen. Well...actually a train wreck in slow motion happening already.

You need to decide whether you want to commit the rest of your life to this unending nightmare. Who knows? He may be worth it. But you will pay a hefty price, if you continue to support him.

I'm new here too. Sorry you are going through this! I understand the situation he's in because my son's in a similar situation, but instead of doing the time he took off and didn't go to sentencing.

I also can relate to you because my ex husband was in and out of prison when we were married and my kids were young. My friends and family didn't understand either but I loved him and didn't want to be with anyone else. It was hard and it was heartbreaking! My ex was in for theft. He was in trouble since he was a teenager and swore to me that he was going to turn his life around but he would get involved with his old friends and do drugs than get in trouble again. He is in prison again now and he's a grandpa!

I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. In my case I gave many chances. I don't have hard feelings for my ex, I feel sorry for him that he so messed up. He's been in prison so much that even his family stopped visiting him. He got his parole violated in the beginning and it was devastating to me. I didn't think he deserved to go back! It's not easy but we got through it.

You are the only that you need to please and if you love him and believe in him than don't worry what others think. It's your life not theirs.

I'm married, and have people everyday tells to leave him. I understand you love him, and want to stand by him, but also have to know tour relationship with him will never be normal. Before he's released, (or after) talk to his PO and find out all the rules. Tell the PO you want to help your BF to stay out of trouble. Learn all the rules, and don't allow BF to break any of them while on parole. He may have stupid rules, but you have to abide by them until he isn't on paper anymore.

You can be there to help him keep him from making stupid mistakes, like having a dating app on his smart phone. Sorry you need us, but glad you found us.

I worry all the time that he will not be able to abide by the rules given to him by his PO. He was never in trouble prior to this incident in 2002, but this is his second time back in since being released. And all of this happened before we met. Before I even met him he told me about his past and the SOR prob etc. It scared me but I had to find out for myself who he was and if he really was this person that the law said he is. He has worked really hard since being released to find a job, a place to live, and well a gf. He had a great job prior to this happening, he was making good money, learning a trade, paying all his bills on time, and basically not getting into any trouble. His reasoning for being on dating sites is I guess why anyone uses them - he wanted to find someone. He doesn't drink so bars aren't his scene. I don't know I get worried that this is the life and can I handle this forever. I mean he will be off the registry in I believe 3-5 yrs. But the stigma will always be with him. And I am in love with this man. Sometimes I think I just like complicated relationships.....with him being in jail it has been soo difficult for me. I have never been in trouble never been to a jail and certainly don't know anything about this process. His mother has been by my side through this all and we have definitely held each others hands. She too hopes that this is the end of this saga as she can't take much more. Thank you for the all the responses.

We have very similar situations. My boyfriend was convicted in 2001 as well, here in Floriduh, for having consensual sex with a girl who claimed to be 18. She later stated to her parents that it was rape, after being caught sneaking in the house during the wee hours of the morning in order to prevent getting into trouble. He was convicted to 8 years in DOC, completing 7. I knew Jon during this time since we had dated in high school,. but we were not in touch much, other than through a few letters now and then, during his incarceration. My family disapproves of my being with him due to his charge as well. Since his release from prison Jon has run his own business, bought a vehichle, now works for the DOT, and hasn't even had so much as a parking ticket!!! But, everyone see's that charge and thinks the worst of him.

Is your boyfriend still going to be on probation once he's released this time? Or are they revoke/terminating the probation since he has gotten jail time?

Only you can make up your mind whether or not you want to stay and work things out with him. I have been in prison myself and I can say first hand that receiving supportive mail and being able to call home (if you can afford to do so) helped tremendously to make my time go by faster. Let him know that you are there for him, you love him and you will be waiting for him when he comes home (if that's what you decide to do)

I am a firm believer in just because a person makes a mistake, doesn't make them who they are and they should not be punished/crucified for it for the rest of their lives. I am online daily if you want to talk, just drop me a line.

Good Luck to you.

Thank you Mrs Harlock - i love him with all my heart . he will return to probation upon being released in Sept. The terms of the probation is not known at this point in time.

You need to do what you feel is right for you, not anyone else.
Sorry that you are going through this, glad you found us.

Hello and welcome. This is a very good site with all sorts of great advice and information. Let me start off by saying that I am sickened to hear people talk about their guys having a "criminal" history or being a "sex offender". Is is absolutely absurd. I am from Europe, and I was 16 when I met my first boyfriend who was my "first" if you know what I mean. He was 21 at the time. My parents and relatives loved him, and his family was just great. Nobody saw anything wrong with this since there wasn't anything wrong with this. I was not a child, and I knew what I was doing. Girls are usually more mature than guys at that age, and it was normal that my boyfriend was older. Mentally, we were probably at the same age. So, just because there are some prude people, it dose not mean that these relationships are criminal in nature. It all boils down to education. If only people can see that as long as their is sex education early on, there is not that much to worry about. It is only deemed a criminal act because some politicians want to see it as such. I hope you will support him and love him as that is what he probably needs more than anything right now.