First, when you write and send your letter be sure to send a copy of it to your son's attorney and to the prosecuting attorney. You should also ask your son's attorney to motion the court to have you endorsed as a witness in the sentencing hearing. If you are not endoreced which means that the judge agrees to hear what you have to say, your letter might not be considered.

That said:

No matter how much you may want to, do not downplay the crime, the severity of such and the impacts it has on the vicim and their family. This will work against you son.

Speak about the therapy he is actively seeking. Identity specific successes he has achieved in therapy and the commitment of your son and his family to see the therapy through to the end. Talk about the support systems he has in place that will give the court a guarantee that your son will not reoffend. Talk about the fact your son pled guilty and thereby shows he is taking responsiblity for his actions. And tell the Judge why prison is the wrong decidion (if that the goal) and why probation is the right decision.

I know this is hard for you and I hope things work out for you

Thanks so much for your very helpful advice, LG. I'll definitely keep this in mind.

So, would it be at all helpful to menion that I understand what the victim's parents are going through, because the same thing happened to this very son of mine, when he was five?

If you message me your email address I can send you a copy how the attorney suggested that we write letters. We have collected 10 letters from friends and family and have given to the attorney that will be giving them to the DA and Judge.

What we did here is we got together as many letter of recommendation that we could for my husband... sent them to the lawyer for approval and then he sent them onto the judge... this was to alleviate anyone saying anything that would hurt sentencing...

If you would like I can send you mine that I wrote if you PM me and get me your email address...

Let me know..

I dont know for sure honest but I would not mention that...... Some may look at it as you are trying to make an excuse for your son.

It is not a good idea to say you "know" what the victim or their family is going through... You can say that you are sorry for the difficulties they are facing but do this briefly. What you say should be kept on the positive side to give the court a good outlook for the future. The courts duty is to determine if givingyour son probation is in the best interest of society - will your son reoffend or will your son succeed.

I would leave out the victims all together. Here is my reasons...

1. You are not supposed to speak for the convicted, only they can apologize for their own actions. Any empathy on your part will not be looked at as nicely as you would at first think. You will be looked at as a mother that want to protect her child, which is fine but you want them to read the letter to the end not just write you off after the first few paragraphs.

2. You want to show the court that your son has made efforts already to improve their life, reduce their possibility of re-offending and that they have been punished enough by what has happened so far because of the public humiliation that has already started has begun the punishment process.

3. Do not suggest punishment other than in a manner that if he were to remain free but on supervision you believe that he has learned how to make better choices in his life by demonstrating this in the following ways.
a. getting a job and keeping it
b. continuing his education
c. participating in the community in some way...
(these are just examples of things that he could have done. I don't know him or anything so just making up examples. For instance I used that my husband restarted his business after 2 years, got enough clients to not only help with the bills but to put a dent in our debt. we got married and things like that. Focus on the positive.)

Good luck...

I agree with Legal and Wisconsin. I recently spoke with a prosecutor, who is married to a good friend of mine, about my problem. He told me that if the crime is downplayed at any point, the rest of my letter will be dismissed. He also said that prosecutors and judges like to hear that the convicted person and their family acknowledges that there was a problem, and that every effort will be taken to continue on a path that will support rehabilitation. Just what he told me, but it seems to coincide with what other have said here.

Wisconsin: I have many friends and family members that want to write letters on my husband's behalf. Did you find that in your husband's case that they were helpful in terms of sentencing?

Thanks so much to all of you. i will definitely print this thread and keep it before me as i begin composing my letter tomorrow.

according to our lawyer we had some of the best letters he has ever seen. I was helping people write them and we were proofing them before sending them on to the judge... But really we got screwed... It was an election year, the judge said in court during sentencing, after our PSI writer a former PO agent said that he had served 2 years already, that the punishment has already done what it was supposed to and that because he has changed his life so much in the past year and a half that a stay of incarceration would be more than appropriate followed by probation, that he just couldn't look soft on crime, that he believed that the appeal was only about sentence reduction and he just couldn't set that example to any other people.

Now these were the people that we had write letters..
A former employer and now client of the business my husband had
Me
My parents
his parents
his brother
his sister-in-law
Friends of mine that became his friends
Friends of his that have known him for years.

and most of us were there in the court room that day showing support as they ripped him from our lives...

I have told everyone out there that is in the county that this judge presides in to vote his but out next time... but he is extremely popular so it is rather moot.

It is a toss up as our lawyer said... sometimes they really really help and other times the judge walks in with his mind made up, this was one of those times. He didn't even look at our PSI writer when he was talking which was so disrespectful... I was so angry for weeks I wanted to do some rather harmful things to that judge for the shit he said... and was also tempted to publicize the transcript of him saying that in a court of law... But I didn't... with my age I have learned to pick my battles and that was a battle that was just going to get me dirty... let them not see me coming before I come to get them, that is just one more reason I started the organization and haven't given up yet...

Thank you for sharing. I have pretty much the same people in our circle willing to write letters. I'm sorry about your experience, and sorry that politics above proper justice is usually chosen. I'm frightened about that very thing.

Yeah lets just say it about made me crazy... I am a passionate person about the things I care about or feel strongly about... and I am usually not quiet about it, it took everything I had in my being not to literally scream at that rat bastid of a judge and tell him what a folly he just made of the Judicial system that he was sworn to up hold and treat fairly. But I didn't... oh but I wanted too!