Sorry I can't help you find a counselor, but you are not crazy! Incestuous relationships have been going on since humanity began. If humanity wants to move beyond that, it will only happen through love and understanding. Love allows things to shift and change. People will try to convince you that you SHOULD hate your husband. Not only is that not their business, but hate is what blocks love from allowing healing.

I hope you find a good counselor. There will be much to work through, but I congratulate you for your courage in knowing that you don't have to stop loving and being with your husband to work through this and re-create new loving relationships.

Welcome to our group! I have been in the nearly the same situation as you for the past few years. I still go to counseling. Just remember this. The counselor is supposed to be helping you and supporting your growth. If they are not, you can fire them and find someone else.

Best wishes.

Thank you. I definitely hate what he did but I love him and dont want to give up on him forever for something he may never do again but in the mean time im depressed out of my mind

If you have a primary care doctor, you can explain the situation to them and they can give you something to help with the depression. In the meantime, you will still have to find a counselor and a psychiatrist. Maybe your doctor can give you a referral or some insurance companies have on-line assistance. I found my first counselor by looking up people who did sex offender treatment on the on-line service from my insurance company. That was VERY helpful.

You could look in the phone book for providers. When you call them, ask if they have ever treated family members of sex offenders. Trust your instincts and you will find someone good.

Try contacting a church and get counseling through one. That is what I have done and it does help and they have not judged me. Actually the lady I counsel with is a long time friend and she went with me Monday to see my husband. There are a lot of churches out there that will not judge you. I also went to a church on sunday with my friend and her husband and met a Chaplain that prison ministries here in our state. He himself was in prison and knows what they go through. I would love to sit and talk to this man.