Families of SOs Community Group
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To all of you who are new arrivals in this forum, I want to give you an idea of how things calm down after a while. It may not seem like it at first, but you will see better days in the future.
Almost four years ago, my daughter-in-law called me in tears and told me the police has just invaded their home, removed their computers and cell phones, and ordered my son to leave the home and not have any contact with their two small children. My son moved in with me and lived here for a year and a half, until the day he was escorted from the courtroom in handcuffs by two deputies. He has been in prison since December of 2011. His sentence is 20 years, so he's into his fourth year. He will be eligible for parole in about another six years. He was convicted of sex abuse of a minor. No CP was ever found. He accepted a plea bargain, because his attorney told him he would never win in a trial.
He's in a pretty decent prison, as prisons go. He has decent food to eat and is treated well by prison staff and fellow inmates. His prison is clean and they even have a garden that the inmates tend. They raise vegetables that they can eat at their meals. They also raise flowers. My son has artistic talent and has been allowed to have access to a computer (no Internet, of course) on which he uses his programming skills to produce artwork. His artwork is in demand among his fellow inmates. He can draw with paper, pens, and pencils, also, and sometimes does pieces that way, also.
Each year, his prison has a special dinner, in which they honor all inmates who have gone for a specified amount of time with no write ups. My son has received this honor in both of the last two years. They also have a Veterans Day program each year, in which they honor the inmates who were in the military.
The prison has allowed some of the more artistic inmates to paint murals on the walls in one long hallway. My son was a participant in this effort. They painted six murals, one for each of the six branches of the US military. Each mural shows a person in the uniform of each branch. The backgrounds include things like US flags, eagles, planes, etc. My son sent me photos of the murals and asked me to scan them and send them to his friends and family members. I also posted them on Facebook.
My son is able to communicate with me, his dad, his ex-wife (with whom he's still on good terms), and a couple of his friends by using Corrlinks, which is an email system. The cost to send and/or receive each email is 25 cents. He has also been allowed to call his ex-wife and talk to his children, when she puts them on the phone.
Almost one year to the day after my first son was removed from his home, I received a call from my second son that he had been arrested for sex assault of an adult female. He was able to use his own savings to get himself bailed out of jail. For the next year and a half, he worked like crazy at his own business, putting in lots of overtime and pretty much ruining his knees and shoulders doing extremely strenuous work. He was able to pay his defense attorney $50,000 of her $75,000 bill, before he was escorted from the courtroom in handcuffs by two deputies. He chose to plead not guilty to the two different charges the DA leveled against him. The jury found him not guilty of the worse charge, but guilty of the lesser one. He was sentenced to four years TO LIFE!
Almost four years ago, my daughter-in-law called me in tears and told me the police has just invaded their home, removed their computers and cell phones, and ordered my son to leave the home and not have any contact with their two small children. My son moved in with me and lived here for a year and a half, until the day he was escorted from the courtroom in handcuffs by two deputies. He has been in prison since December of 2011. His sentence is 20 years, so he's into his fourth year. He will be eligible for parole in about another six years. He was convicted of sex abuse of a minor. No CP was ever found. He accepted a plea bargain, because his attorney told him he would never win in a trial.
He's in a pretty decent prison, as prisons go. He has decent food to eat and is treated well by prison staff and fellow inmates. His prison is clean and they even have a garden that the inmates tend. They raise vegetables that they can eat at their meals. They also raise flowers. My son has artistic talent and has been allowed to have access to a computer (no Internet, of course) on which he uses his programming skills to produce artwork. His artwork is in demand among his fellow inmates. He can draw with paper, pens, and pencils, also, and sometimes does pieces that way, also.
Each year, his prison has a special dinner, in which they honor all inmates who have gone for a specified amount of time with no write ups. My son has received this honor in both of the last two years. They also have a Veterans Day program each year, in which they honor the inmates who were in the military.
The prison has allowed some of the more artistic inmates to paint murals on the walls in one long hallway. My son was a participant in this effort. They painted six murals, one for each of the six branches of the US military. Each mural shows a person in the uniform of each branch. The backgrounds include things like US flags, eagles, planes, etc. My son sent me photos of the murals and asked me to scan them and send them to his friends and family members. I also posted them on Facebook.
My son is able to communicate with me, his dad, his ex-wife (with whom he's still on good terms), and a couple of his friends by using Corrlinks, which is an email system. The cost to send and/or receive each email is 25 cents. He has also been allowed to call his ex-wife and talk to his children, when she puts them on the phone.
Almost one year to the day after my first son was removed from his home, I received a call from my second son that he had been arrested for sex assault of an adult female. He was able to use his own savings to get himself bailed out of jail. For the next year and a half, he worked like crazy at his own business, putting in lots of overtime and pretty much ruining his knees and shoulders doing extremely strenuous work. He was able to pay his defense attorney $50,000 of her $75,000 bill, before he was escorted from the courtroom in handcuffs by two deputies. He chose to plead not guilty to the two different charges the DA leveled against him. The jury found him not guilty of the worse charge, but guilty of the lesser one. He was sentenced to four years TO LIFE!
My second son is in a different state than my first son. They are almost 800 miles apart, which makes my life very complicated, if I want to visit them. I don't live near either one of them and would have to travel a total of 4800 miles in order to see them both and come back to my home.
My second son is in a private prison. He tells me that his prison is so filthy that, if I were there, I would not want to touch anything. He has had mice get into his storage box under his bed. He had to wait for an entire year before he was seen by a medical professional for what turned out to be prostatitis. The nurse practitioner, not a doctor, prescribed a strong antibiotic, which he was to take for three months. However, he gave up after two months and the problem is back full force.
In order to take pills, inmates have to stand in a line twice daily. There is no place to sit down and they have to wait in the line up to two hours each time. So that would be four hours each day, just to take two pills.
My son works out in the fitness center on a regular basis. I'm thankful he can get exercise and keep himself fit and busy. However, they staff member in charge of the supplies in the fitness center has stopped ordering paper towels and soap, in order to save money. So, inmates can only wash their hands with water and air dry them. He can wash up in his cell, but, of course, to get to his cell, he has to wait until the inmates are allowed to move from one area of the prison to the next.
The food at this private prison is despicable. He says they serve this meat that looks and smells just like cat food. He says he usually skips breakfast and sleeps late, because the food offered is probably worse for him than just fasting. Breakfast consists of white bread, butter, sugary cereal, white milk, and maybe a sweet roll. No protein, whatsoever.
I’m able to send him emails through Jpay, for 50 cents apiece. However, he can’t send me emails. He can only call me or write me a letter. Thankfully, he calls me twice a week. He also keeps in touch with his dad and a few loyal friends.
This prison has a lot of “white guys,” which means white supremacist gangs. These guys are especially hateful of SOs, and of course those of color. My son’s conviction is known to some of them, but he hasn’t had any trouble so far. He has even made friends with a lot of the guys of all races.
My son plays an instrument in one of the prison’s six bands. They just had a concert last week and my son said it went very well. A lot of the inmates attended and he was able to see some of the guys that used to be in his unit. They all urged him to try and get moved to their unit, because they consider him a friend. My son would like to move, but doing so would mean giving up some of the perks he currently has, such as being on the bottom bunk in his cell.
I send this son a chunk of money every month, just so he can survive. He has always had a very high metabolism and food goes through him like lightning. He gets hungry every two hours and the prison diet is just not enough calories for him. He says some of the other inmates told him he looks really thin. I believe it, because I’ve seen him get really thin, when he’s under a lot of stress and burns a lot of calories.
However, even with all the challenges, my son maintains a very good attitude and thanks me profusely every time he calls me for all the ways in which I support him.
I’m hoping to visit my sons in the next few weeks, but the trip will cost me over $1000. I’m just so thankful that I can keep in touch with both of them regularly through phone calls and emails. I would go crazy without that.
My son was in Floriduh federal prison. First he spent 3 months in the worst, dirtiest county prison in FLoriduh. I was actually relieved when he went to federal. The food in both places was always bad. The meat was all soy and would make his stomach hurt. Fresh fruit is always unavailable because inmates make hooch out of it.
My son was in a band, and used the art room when allowed. He found a couple good friends that we keep track of.
It's a whole different life than the norm.. but now it's our normal. Even tho my son is out, he's on probation for 15 years and 15 years on the registry.
Hopefully your 2nd son will be released in short time. 20 years or 4 to life .. it all is like a bad nightmare.
Nak
prayers and many {{{hugs}}} for what all of you are going thru!
My life has changed as has all of ours. We have good days, bad days. Some days I wonder how I will get through that day and look to the next. I think I am more sad for him thinking about what he has lost in his lifetime. He will be a middle-aged man when he gets out and the world as he knew it will be totally different. I worry who will help him when he gets out. I pray the registry will be gone by that time. Or then he will start his second sentence.
You are a very strong person to deal with two sons in prison, I can't imagine. My life pretty much is consumed with one in there. My son is also in a good prison as your one son and I thank god for that everyday. He is farther away than I would like but I still get to visit every so often. We just need to support them as much as possible whether its money, letters, visiting, etc. I am sure you look to the mailbox or the phone ringing every day as I do. You are a great mom and god bless you!
Debbie