Take care, hurtandfearful.
Now that you've had a good cry.... just go and do what he told you to do so you'll have some fun things to talk about on your next visit. 111/2 months will (believe it or not) pass pretty quickly especially if he earns time off / good-time credit.

I remember that first night, it's quiet, too quiet. You feel the emptiness and you wonder how you're going to make it through the next few days and months.

I can tell you this, it will get better. If you don't have to go to work in the morning, good... if you can't sleep, stay up, indulge yourself, whether that is some food you just love or some movie that you want to see. I allowed myself to wallow and cry and be sad for a whole day or so to just get it all out... and then decided after that, life was going on and it was my responsibility to make sure there was a home to come home too and that it was as comfortable as I could make it.

It's ok to wallow, but all wallowing has to come to an end, so allow yourself the opportunity to wallow in the sadness so that when you can't allow yourself to do that, be it on the job or just out in public, you can harness it better.

On top of that, remember that in less than one year, just before next easter, right at the precipice of spring, he'll be home. It is not that long away and getting shorter as we speak.

I had the same charge and did a full year also. It seems long, but a year will go by quickly. Send him books, lots of books, and make an emphasis on educational books, since if you are going to sit around in prision for a year, you might as well learn something. If he has never done time before, the first few weeks are the hardest... on both of you. But in that time you will both learn to accept it and be able to cope a little better. It's not easy being a sex offender in custody, but of all the sex crimes, it is one of the lowest to be charged with. At least he has you, and you have stuck with him. My girlfriend of 3 years left me, and I cannot go to my parents house as there are children there. I'm living out of my car, and the ankle monitor they gave me means no snowboarding, which is the only thing that kept me sane enough to deal with all this trouble. But, I suppose at least I have a job and a car to live out of, since lots don't even have that. It's still all really fresh with me, since I was released in august and had to start over on parole two weeks ago. You are dealing with the hardest few weeks right now.

Hey, NorthernTown, glad to see you back here and giving encouragement to others. :) :)

Janet, they haven't banned my Internet privileges yet, so I'm here unless/until they do that. I'm doing a little better now that I have a gym membership so I can shower (3 days with no shower after working construction/drywall/insulation/hot attics was not helping me feel any better) and since I have it, I decided after a year and half from quitting it due to incarceration, I started working out again and I'm back at the weights. And I'm finding day work to do before my night job. I'm still really depressed about not being able to snowboard and teach it. I've been doing it 20 years, and get in around 100+ days annually. Now I have 3 years with none of it. It's like loosing an arm for me, but I'm finally putting my mind into making money.

Keep on keeping on, you'll make it. I think working out will help work through the depression and hauling around wall board sounds like a workout in itself. . Why isn't it possible to snow board wearing an ankle bracelet? (You go so fast that you out run the signal? I can make up some more silly reasons maybe but ...?) Take care.

No, it's much simpler than that, I can't fit my leg in the boot and lace it. And that's really important to being able to turn and having control.

And...I suppose they frown on swimming and high diving too? or is it water-proof? Anyway, good job.

Haha, yes, they say no swimming, but I just looked up the stats on this monitor and it's water proof up to 50 ft, and has a battery life of 60 hours, even though they have us charge it every 12 hours. I mean, by the size of it, you'd think you could run a car off it.

I remember my first night without my husband. He is in for a year. We are half way through. It was a tough night of crying and being scared but as of today, he is fine, i am fine and we are making it though one day at a time. Your strength will get you through. I still have good days and bad days but my good days out number my bad days now. The best advise I can give you is let yourself grieve and be upset. That's normal. Just don't set up camp there. Keep living your life and pushing forward. You will find you are stronger and braver than you ever thought. Everyone here is wonderful so feel free to post and chat here. It helps a lot.

Hurtfulandfearful, does your husband get good time credits or is the 11 and a half months the whole sentence of the tI'm he will serve? Because a pc 311 charge isn't violent and there aren't any personal victims, the charge is eligible for half time. And 6 months wouldn't be that long either.

And just stay strong and positive. My mom was the one who was there for me, and I met a couple people in custody that were really good, and didn't judge me. Half the pod where I was had sex crimes worse than mine, but would treat me like I was the worst person there. A guy came in, and everyone told him not to talk to me becuase of my charge, well, he said no one tells me what to do, a d came to my table and sat down and talked to me. Him and two other guys did the same. I consider these people friends, and when I was released, I gave them my phone number to call me, and sent them books and items that they needed. So, even if it is hard in the beginning, your husband will find someone to talk to, and they will make his time better. Those 3 guys and my mom are a huge reason why I was able to survive without letting the depression take me. Write down things that happened to you and you want to tell him when he calls. The phone calls will be good support when you do most of the talking and relate to him how life has been going for you, and it's good to write things down so you will remember to tell him. And stay strong when you are on the phone, don't let the sadness show in your voice.

I also remember that night. In a way I wish I could forget it but believe it or not this whole ordeal made me realize just how strong I am. My husbands time was a little longer. He received 10 years. I know exactly how you feel, we all do I remember going down to the county jail and picking up his belongings. They pack his whole life in a plastic garbage bag. As I walked back to my car, I was trying to carry this heavy ass garbage bag full of papers and letter he had accumulated over a 2 year period. It was very hard because I could not see because I was so busy crying as I walked.

I knew then that this terrible nightmare would never be over but ghuess what??????

10 years have passed and he will be home in 3 months

Even though it may seem like the end of the world everything will be o.k

I'm doing better since I got to talk to him tonight. Good news is with good behavior he will be out in the beginning of January. That's something to hold onto. Thank all of u for your support