About two months ago, my whole world fell apart. Just days before Christmas, the police came to me and my boyfriend's apartment. Without telling me what for, they arrested my boyfriend and took him away. It took days before I would find out what he was arrested for. Turns out he was accused of groping, kissing, and having an online sexual relationship with his 12-year old student (he was an ELA-teacher). When I first heard the charges, I was so relieved; obviously these allegations were false! My boyfriend, my sweet, caring boyfriend, would never do something like that! I was utterly confused when I then found out that the accuser was his favorite students who he has supported through many rough times. And then finally, my world was utterly turned upside down when me and his dad hired a lawyer who told us it was all true: there was evidence of them sending sexual videos to each other. I've never been so chocked in my life. I crumbled to the ground outside the courthouse and cried and howled so that the cops came up to me and wondered what was going on. I did not know how I would react when I would see him again. I was so angry and disgusted. But then, when he was released on bond, I ran into his arms and cried. I said: "I don't understand" and he responded: "I'll tell you everything". Against his lawyer's wishes he then proceeded to tell me everything. He told me how this student, who he had cared about and who had come to him for support, had always had a crush on him. He had always dodged her flirting but then one night when he was drunk, he started texting with her and told her he cared for her. The next day he regretted his actions and apologized to her. She responded that she had had a crush on him since the day she first saw him. The validation that gave him made their relationship progress and slowly and very gradually, she became more and more romantic and sexual in her messages, and my boyfriend, who was high on the validation, gave her what she asked for. Written sexual scenarios about the two of them, videos of him masturbating. She was the one who initiated everything and sent him so many pictures and videos and messages. And he did all he could to keep receiving her validation.

Now it's two months later and I'm still with him. It's been incredibly hard and I'm in a constant emotional roller coaster of emotion. We are both in individual therapy as well as couples therapy and I do have hopes for the future. We are in the middle of the legal process but it is moving very slowly. His lawyer said the case should be resolved by the end of the year.

He's told me that the second the police showed up, he lost all the feelings he ever felt for HER. He's told me it was like he was playing a role, that it wasn't really him. He's told me that he never really loved her or was ever aroused by the pictures and videos she sent him, it was the validation he craved. He's told me that he never stopped loving me.

I've felt so alone in this whole process until I found this site and now I think there might be people in a similar situation. Is there anybody who can give me any advice or support in this situation? Can I trust the things he tells me? Can I trust that he really loves me?

Any support would be greatly appreciated!