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Just had an argument with my daughter-in-law

Reggie1961
Reggie1961
My soon-to-be EX-daughter-in-law texted me asking if I had taken money out of my son's account (which she keeps cleaning out, btw) and when I said I had -- told her it was to pay the lawyer to handle his side of the divorce, but it's basically so he'll have SOME money when he needs it -- she got really pissed because now she can't sign her son -- my grandson -- up for football, which I thought right when she brought it up a couple weeks ago was a bad idea considering she can't afford it. I had an argument with her and I'm just afraid if she stays mad she won't ever let me see my grandkids again. But I can't handle her constantly taking all his money especially when she blows it all. She just took the kids to San Diego (she lives in Nevada) to the zoo, and who knows where else. She's always lived beyond her (and my son's) means, and I keep thinking that's probably one of the reasons he is where he is. If it's true that molesters have a trigger that will set them off, I'm betting the stress of the major debt they're in is it. I'd just love to tell her off and tell her she's partly to blame for all this.
ThoughtAsWeak
ThoughtAsWeak
It's hard being placed in the middle. However, she will find that him being in prison won't help her financially. The money you took for your son is his...she needs to learn to stand on her own two feet.
honestwitness
honestwitness
You might want to consider giving her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she felt the kids needed that trip to the zoo to offset the fact that their dad is in prison. She now has to be both the father and the mother to her kids and she's probably trying her best to put the kids first, so they don't grow up with a grudge.

Those kids need their grandmother, too, and their mother is the gateway for you to maintain that relationship. How would your son feel if his kids were forbidden any contact with you? Would he be willing to do without some monetary benefits to enable your continued emotional support of his kids?
Reggie1961
Reggie1961
I want to maintain contact with the kids, but it's very hard because she has always been very mercurial in her emotions, one minute being very bubbly and nice, and the next being moody and snapping at everyone, including my son and the kids. I worry about how they're being treated and there's nothing I can do about it, especially if I get on her bad side. I wrote her a private message on Facebook trying to be nice and explain my position, but she wanted nothing to do with hearing my side. She doesn't have a compassionate bone in her body.