Families of SOs Community Group
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I've been meaning to post here again, but so many days I just want to forget about everything. I don't ever forget about my son -- I write to him often and visit him every few months. But so many other things related to his situation are so stressful, and I could use some feedback. Not even sure where to start.......
My son is still married and has two kids, but he does not ever see them. His wife filed divorce papers but never signed them, I'm sure because she wants to keep getting his VA benefits which are deposited into their joint accounts. He can't have any contact with the kids because of what he did to his daughter.
As far as his VA benefits, they of course were supposed to go down to 10% two or three months after his conviction, and his lawyer even wrote to them about that, but they didn't decrease the amount and just recently sent a letter saying that since he's been overpaid (their fault), his benefits will cease completely as of March 2016 until it's been recouped.
My son has a lot of debt and I have power of attorney for him so I was going to file bankruptcy for him, but 1) his wife never signed the divorce papers and I was advised to wait til after the divorce, 2) I'm not sure where to find a bankruptcy attorney because not all law firms do that, and 3) it will still cost a lot of money to file bankruptcy.
My "daughter-in-law" moved pretty far away so I don't get to see my grandkids except in pictures on her Facebook page and the occasional times we Skype.
I guess I'm just looking for a little advice, especially as far as the VA and/or the bankruptcy problem.
My son is still married and has two kids, but he does not ever see them. His wife filed divorce papers but never signed them, I'm sure because she wants to keep getting his VA benefits which are deposited into their joint accounts. He can't have any contact with the kids because of what he did to his daughter.
As far as his VA benefits, they of course were supposed to go down to 10% two or three months after his conviction, and his lawyer even wrote to them about that, but they didn't decrease the amount and just recently sent a letter saying that since he's been overpaid (their fault), his benefits will cease completely as of March 2016 until it's been recouped.
My son has a lot of debt and I have power of attorney for him so I was going to file bankruptcy for him, but 1) his wife never signed the divorce papers and I was advised to wait til after the divorce, 2) I'm not sure where to find a bankruptcy attorney because not all law firms do that, and 3) it will still cost a lot of money to file bankruptcy.
My "daughter-in-law" moved pretty far away so I don't get to see my grandkids except in pictures on her Facebook page and the occasional times we Skype.
I guess I'm just looking for a little advice, especially as far as the VA and/or the bankruptcy problem.
Try googling divorce attorney in your area, and you should find one to at least speak with about the issues and see what, if anything, you can do.
Grandparents have "right' even in the case of divorce and I think you can explore your "grandparents" wheter they are divorced or not. And you might speak to a tax guy or go on the Internal Revenue site to explore how your son might file for bankruptcy separately since she's the one running all the bills now, ??? Then you might even know your "rights" even if your son files for divorce etc...
Kust some thoughts/ ??? you might want to explore before the ceiling drops in and while you are still on speaking terms (and face book) with your daughter-in- law who by the way probably feels pretty blindsided by all this too.
Also, could you use the fact that she filed for divorce and never signed her own papers?
Bankruptcy lawyers sometimes have free consultations. It couldn't hurt to put in a few phone calls.
Advocate -- I haven't talked to her about filing bankruptcy yet, but may have to just to get it done. I'm always afraid to bring certain things up because she can be so vindictive, plus does not follow through on getting things done.
Janet -- divorce papers have already been filed -- by her -- she just never signed them after my son's lawyer sent a counter-proposal. She hasn't kept me from visiting or talking to the grandkids, in fact, before she moved out of the area, I did see them a couple times. It's just hard because they're so far away now.
KnowNot -- I just saw an ad on TV last night for some bankruptcy lawyers that are fairly close by, and will contact them soon.
Thanks for all the feedback, everyone!