Have you read about Post-Incarceration Syndrome (PICS)?

Hey buddy what's going on? Well I understand where you coming from it's a big thing called antisocial and many people have it from serving a decent amount of time in prison you know you you get so used to being isolated and not really being around regular people anymore so when you are at least you know you have anxiety and you know big crowds mess you up a little bit and I go to the same struggle myself you know my girlfriend always wants me to go out go to dinner or go to a friend's house or something like that and when I do go to the friends house I kind of sit alone you know I like sit on the couch and you know I don't know what to do and I guess my anxiety starts to kick in and then I feel uncomfortable and I don't want to be there but I force myself to make my girlfriend happy so I definitely understand where you're coming from it just takes time brother to overcome the hurdles of being released into society. But the best things to do is to talk about it and find people like the support group to open up to and to get their input you know cuz nobody likes to be criticized and I could tell you I don't like to be told stuff when I don't think I'm always right but I definitely know enough that it's hard for me to listen to somebody else tell me what's right and what's wrong

Scaredkitty, thank you for the info. I believe prison just made my asocial behavior to become worse. I was already a loner and quiet, now it's just worse and I'm being dragged by parole into having my calendar loaded with activities; groups, work, and school. School is what I want to succeed at but work and mandatory groups is causing me to be overwhelmed.

This being overwhelmed caused me to slip up on my parole conditions last year. I watched adult porn a few times. I was at a low point and just wanted to feel good. I haven't watched any porn in months but I have my first maintenance polygraph next week and I know they'll ask this question. I'm not good at lying but I'm also afraid of going to jail for a 10 day flash or longer. The not knowing it what's killing me and making my daily life unbearable. Letting my family down as well hurts me.

I know the right thing to do is speak the truth and move on, but it is so hard!

Have you checked out the Sex and Porn Addiction group here?

Peace and blessings. What are your goals now?
:)

You know, my husband has struggled and continues to struggle with this almost every day, and I know this is far from being over for him. I honestly can only imagine what it must feel like. And dealing with a PO can be very difficult, especially at the beginning because... let`s be honest a lot of times it`s almost their job not to trust you. But it gets better, you just need to get through that first few months. I think the most important thing is just do everything they ask of you, be respectful and be honest, and it will get better. Just give it some time.
The part where you stay positive, however, is more difficult. Unfortunately for my husband, he ended up in a very toxic environment immediately after his release, and our life was just an insane emotional roller coaster for the past 3 years. I don`t know you, and I don`t know what makes you feel better, but I can tell you what I wish we knew 3 years ago. Hold on to and trust your support system. Family members, friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, grandma, auntie... WHOMEVER you trust and whomever you know will not let you down. I know it`s really hard sometimes, but holding things in is not going to be helpful... Sometimes our own minds can be our worst enemy, and being able to open up to someone can make the world of difference. Seriously. There are a lot more people who really care about you than it might seem. Another thing... super cliche... but love yourself. People will always talk and judge, mainly because that makes them feel better about themselves. So love yourself and accept yourself and be brave enough to remove yourself from the situation where your mental health is jeopardized. That can mean many things, stop being friends with people who use your vulnerability to their advantage. Or find a different job if your boss feels like it`s okay to overwork you without pay, just because he knows it will be difficult for you to find a new place. There are many good people around, and I sincerely hope you will meet many of them on your way, but unfortunately there are also many who would be more than happy to bring you down... just because they can. Well don`t let them! Only you know who you are, and what you`ve been through. Only you know your story, so don`t let other people change it!
Find things that make you happy, achieve little goals every day. Working out is a huge outlet for my hubs. Go out and see a new movie. If that doesn`t work for you find a new favorite show to watch (Game of Thrones is a huge hit btw XD). Go hiking! Enjoy good food! Just think about all the little things that I am sure you can appreciate after getting out of that place:)
Recovery is hard. Getting your life back is hard too. But you can do it. Just take it one day at a time, and try to find one good thing you do, feel, accomplish or experience every single day, no matter how bad it gets. Some days will be bad, some good, and some just plain freaking horrible, but things can always be worse and you can definitely handle it.

Hi, I am really glad that you have a loving support person, I think it’s unfortunately truly rare. I am just starting this uphill battle and my fiancé was sent away for 6 years. I wanted to ask you how your experience was in prison though, should I really be worried about my fiancé? He was charged with 288.5 (we’re in California) and I am completely panicked.

Just a little add for guys just getting out and having some trouble adjusting. Maybe it won't work for you but it seems to be working for me.

From SAA... draw three circles... the middle is the behaviors you can't do/need to abstain from. The second are actions that if you do tend to draw you to the middle circle and acting out. The third are the things that you enjoy that you can do that don't lead to acting out behavior. The first two circle are important to remember but look at the third one! It is everything you can do that you like! Consciously focus on the can. It helps. Really.

The second thing is to meditate daily. This is hard because of time but taking that time to focus yourself, to deliberately listen to your thoughts and feelings and then focus on the mindset you will choose to have for the day helps.

These aren't perfect but they have helped alot. It kinda helps that I can get lost in writing music but... just some ideas.

I hope you can get back to your life. May I ask how did you stay safe in prison what level were you in ty