So those of you that read my last post were hugely helpful and I can not say thank you enough but if you are following what happened today I finally got to see these pictures that his PO was telling me about. I got the pleasure of seeing them because I had to delete them all and though they were nothing really graphic or disturbing it has left me with some feelings and questions..
The pictures were mostly of one particular high school girl and her friends. They seem to just be pics she would post on face book or instagram nothing sexual what so ever and not taken for him in particular so I am guessing he probably just got them off a site somewhere or maybe her fb if its not locked. However, the fact that it just seems to be this same girl in the pics does creep me out a little, not going to lie. I feel weird about it and if it was just a bunch of random girls I wouldn't think it was as weird. I am understanding that he likes to look at these sort of things and that it is just fantasy maybe but is this normal guy behavior? It strikes me as odd that a guy would like to look at these pics of just a normal girl doing normal things, if they were naked I think I would understand that more. So I am just asking if someone can help me understand this a little better.
The other issue with seeing these photos is the insecurities that it brings up in me. I know this is suppose to be fantasy but normally don't most people want their fantasies to come true deep down? It's what we hope for if we could have it.. so if he enjoys looking at younger girls and I am guessing he probably gets off on these pics otherwise why have them at all, let alone save them.. its hard for me to wrap my head around why he is with me. I am not that old and I don't look old but compared to these girls I am and they are nothing like me so it just makes me wonder if this is what he likes then why wasn't he trying to find an 18 year old since that would be closer to what he seems to like. I don't understand men at all and how they think haha Can someone explain to me how guys have these two separate ways of thinking?? My ideal fantasy man is exactly what my bf is. When I was dating that's the kind of man I would look for because that's what I wanted but do guys not think this way..? I love him but geez is this man giving me a challenge lately lol I want to believe this is just fantasy but truthfully part of me is starting to feel like I am an experiment of what it is like to be in a normal healthy relationship, which is something I told him from the beginning that I wondered when he first told me about his past. Then he said no and I believed him but after everything I am seeing lately its bringing that up again. Am I wrong to feel like this...