I have read several new posts in the past few weeks from those who have just entered the arena of the SO. My heart literally weeps when I read the stories and the horrible things that have happened. Believe me I pray for you all often and carry you with me through the day. I have found in most instances that the noose has been thrown over the tree and the bonfires have been lit, whether by the authorities, family or others, the world loves a good witch burning. I am strongly advising those new to this group, just step back and take a breath. Hell is about to open it's mouth and belch out a torrent of evil that you have never in you wildest dreams imagined. You are going to by stretched and tormented by the offense, the implications, the authorities, family, friends (not so), para legals, well intentioned people and the list is infinite.

There are no answers to the deep questions that you have and as soon as you cope with one a thousand more will come and you will feel as though you are going crazy. Do not, Do not, Do not add any more to the situation than you already know even though your mind craves answers, there are none to satisfy. Several have stated correctly that a charge is just that, a charge and the police would have you clubbing baby seals for fun if it would help their case. Most of what you hear is not truth but mere speculation and some perverted mind wishing it so, sick bastards that will have their reward.

My personal story is this. I was indicted on more than 50 charges and was looking at eternity in prison. My bond was 1,000,000 no ten %. While incarcerated I lost wife, 6 children, 20 year job, pension, church, home and anything that could be taken. I was after the fact accused of being a drug dealer and running a multicounty theft ring and even had a news channel run false info concerning such. I was blamed for the death of my first born son who died at 13 unexpectedly in our home. 1.5 months in county and I was released, all charges dropped!!!!
More charges came and were dropped, more came and were dropped. I was broken and destroyed and ready to depart all because someone took an allegation and ran with it with no restrictions on creativity..

I spent four years in prison for a crime I did not commit and am starting life all over again by God's wonderful grace and a beautiful new wife. I know that if people would have taken a breath and not overreacted according to what they learned on TV and their well intentioned ,misguided friends, I would never have suffered what I did nor my children.

I have been free for 5 months now and I have yet to find one person to confront me about anything I went through. I have not one person say they were misguided and overreacted. Everyone of my accusers have gone into hiding and some now carry a firearm. Really?!

You are going to decide what this trial will do to you , not society, not family, not social workers or authorities and so on. You are either going to be stronger and wiser or you are going to be a victim and destroyed. Should all charges be true, you still must decide that you are going to overcome and be better for having passed this way. There are no rules and no set answers, your case is unique to you and your family. No one here will judge for the path you take even if it's wrong. You decide right now to love and forgive inspite of what has or has not happened. I read a quote somewhere the other day but can't remember where, "Forgiveness doesn't excuse their behavior, it prevents their behavior from destroying your heart" (sorry I can't remember the author). There you have it. You will need to forgive the offender and everyone else in your life believe me, if you keep score you'll go insane with hatred.

Stay here at this group, cry, scream, curse, but stay here. People here understand and have passed this way before. Most advice is sound enough that it won't hurt you if you follow it. Please just take a breath and deal only with what you know is true right now and expect it to change in a couple of minutes.

I serioulsy love you and am praying for you. Pathella.