Families of SOs Community Group
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I just got off the phone with my mother. She told me my grandfather passed away. Days ago we were told he had 2-6 months to live because of a mass in his lungs. He lived a long life of 91 years. Now he gets to be in heaven with my grandmother.
What makes this so much harder is the fact that my fiancé won't be able to attend any of the celebrations of my grandfather's life, as well as his funeral because my family is so large and has so many children in it. It's hard as a future spouse of a RSO knowing that my husband won't be able to attend family events as long as he's serving his probation sentence. Not everyone in my extended family knows his situation yet, and those who know don't fully understand the rules he has to follow. Because of this, I usually get at least one or two family members ask why he's not at whatever function is going on. It makes it so much harder to have a good time, knowing he can't be at my side.
I love him and I don't plan on leaving him. This is the life i have chosen, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Joining this group has truly made it easier at times. Thank you for being here for me, everyone.
What makes this so much harder is the fact that my fiancé won't be able to attend any of the celebrations of my grandfather's life, as well as his funeral because my family is so large and has so many children in it. It's hard as a future spouse of a RSO knowing that my husband won't be able to attend family events as long as he's serving his probation sentence. Not everyone in my extended family knows his situation yet, and those who know don't fully understand the rules he has to follow. Because of this, I usually get at least one or two family members ask why he's not at whatever function is going on. It makes it so much harder to have a good time, knowing he can't be at my side.
I love him and I don't plan on leaving him. This is the life i have chosen, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Joining this group has truly made it easier at times. Thank you for being here for me, everyone.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather's passing. Losing a loved one can be one of the most painful experiences in life, and I'm glad you're finding comfort in this great supportive group. I also empathize with the many difficulties sex offences present in family affairs. My wife and I are currently discussing staying together vs. splitting up while I'm under investigation for a non-contact sex crime. I have had to leave the house I was living in, since I have a young daughter. Like you, some family members know what's going on, and some don't. My daughter, and other kids in the family obviously don't have a clue what's going on, but I'm worried about stuff coming out in the news at some point.
How did you come to the decision to stay with your fiancé? Has it been hard to keep things secret from inquisitive family members? Did you go through therapy to help your decision to stay together?
Stay positive, and chin up. Sounds like you've come pretty far already.
Mallo
Work within the system and sometimes good things can happen.
There is hope!
Being with a SO is so difficult but I do believe love stands strong. You find ways round things. My husband couldn't attend a wedding whilst out on bail as he didn't have permission for the overnight stay. I simply said he couldn't get the time off. Stand tall. Its tough but so are you.
http://www.managingyourblessings.com/wife-wants-stay/
Thanks for sharing that link! I just passed that along to my wife. Anything that makes her and me feel less alone is great.