I didn't know this existed. I have been posting on the SA site and was the only one that was a spouse of a SA and SO. I am glad to have found you all. My H was arrested 5 years ago with a 15 year old prostitute. He had cialis, toys, videos....etc on him. He also possessed child porn. After a year, he was convicted and is on probation. He is a double felon SO, probation for 10 years. It has destroyed out marriage and our lives. We have a 24 year old son who hates his dad. My H will not leave the house ( I have asked many times to give a chance to heal w/o him being here; he won't leave) and I cannot afford to go, nor do I feel I should be the one to go. When I get a FT job, I will do what I need to. My H is entitled and manipulative. I also got an STD from him that he dnies he gave to me. Our sex life was awful...but I thought the rest of our marriage was great. He was my best friend and I did love him. He tells me he thinks I never really loved him. He has told me during fights that I have severe mental problems. I can tell you I am not nice to him, but I way way better than I used to be. He tells me I need to get over this and move on. He has apologized, but half heartedly, in my opinion. We are esssentially "room mates". Our financial situation has gone down the toilet. Maybe I wasn't the perfect wife, but who is. It took me a long time t realize that I did not cause this. He is an only child, parents have dies, he doesn't bother with any of his other relatives or frineds. As you all know, this costs hundreds a month. Thank God we are debt free, except for this. He has a porn addicttion, E.D. and who knows what else. He is selfish and I do not trust him...yet there is a part of me that still loves him. I have not forgotten the great times....but the 1st time he chose to pay a hooker for sex ( and there have been many), was when he threw it all away....I did all the typical SO wife things...the classes...group...until I realized that he bs'ed me and try to keep mein the dark (he will say that is not true) and one day I realized this whole SO thing was not healthy for me. I dropped out of being an informed supervisor. He has told me I am unsupportive and I should stand by him....what???? I did as he continued to keep in under his wing...I have been with him since I was 19. I am 58. I am scared to death to be divorced and alone and back on the dating scene. I do not trust men because the one man that I did trust, who was suppose to keep this family safe, is the one who devastated us...everytime I look at him, I see his deviant behavior. I am in private therapy. My son has also gone. Thanks for letting me rant.