Hi mate. Im not going to tell you it gets easier as i am sure many people have told you before because it doesn't. The majority of the world are going to continue to judge and make assertions when in reality they have no idea. For myself I was put on the registry for reading cp fictional stories. Unfortunately all too often we are placed in the same box as people who have hurt people and have no interest in changing their behaviour. While the majority of society won't change their opinion or attitude there are people who understand and won't be so condemning and do believe in second chances. For myself i have found this in my fiance who has been prepared to give me that chance even though it has caused her ex husband to try and turn her own children against her for being in a relationship with me. Furthermore, I have found some friends who are prepared to show me grace which has allowed me to grow and become the person I want to be rather than the person the world judges me to be.

Those are very wise words.....I believe for every person that runs away, one will stay.

Tibaker....please don't give up. All of us here on this forum love someone with a similar past. Yes it is challenging and at times disheartening, but don't give up. Please see a counselor about your feelings. You are worth it. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God bless.

Yes wise words and even though it is very hard every day try to keep telling yourself that you ARE NOT the label they put on you! And then prove it!

Hi, I have not walked in your shoes so I can only IMAGINE what you are going through. Keep in mind, though, that many people in life have felt similar feelings who have never been to prison and who have never been accused of this crime. I believe it's called depression. You have to first learn to love yourself and forgive yourself before you can move forward and you can do this. Work on loving yourself and everything else will fall into place over time. Seeking help with talk therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness. Keeping in touch with others on this site who are going through what you are going through will also be a great help. I'm sure they will add their comments on what else you can do to help yourself. In the meantime, we are here to tell you that you have value and you will find your way. Keep us posted.

tibaker,

I want you to know that you are not alone. One day you will find someone who loves you unconditionally. I love a man who has mad a horrible mistake and is in prison. When we started dating he was not and I knew nothing of his past. As lonely as I may be with him in prison, I can't imagine my life without him. We have been together now for over 9 years. Don't give up. People who judge don't know the facts and myths of sex offenders. I have attended many seminars and I have to keep reminding myself when others judge my decision to stay with him that they have no idea and are uneducated on the matter.

tIbaker: With 883,000 names on the SO Registry plus all the family and friends, you are not alone...there are a lot of "us" out here. The despair you are feeling right now because you imagine you are and always will be alone is exactly why threatening to scapegoat anyone labeled "different" works so well to raise lynch mobs and keep "nice" people toeing the invisible line..

Fear and despair over being scapegoated / labeled SO only works when you don't realize you may be physically by yourself right now but you are NOT alone. Like it or not, fair or not, "we" are all in this together. Daily Strength Families of sex Offenders exists so all of us will realize there are a lot of "us". So none of us need ever again imagine we are alone.

tibaker I would welcome in my home with open arms. Like everyone has said you are not alone. I'm starting to feel better. My husband is in prison right now just for an innocent touch on the chest. He admitted to this and I have stood by him from day one. I've only been on this site only a short time. Listen to what they have to say. It helps. You will find your soulmate.

tibaker,

Your PO should be able to help you find a good SO counselor in your area. Talk to your PO & find out what you need to do to get permission to attend church. I know from mine & my husbands point of view if it wasn't for his counseling & the Pastor at our church I can't say where either one of us would be. Just remember - your past sin does not define who you are - you are loved! Be an example to those who may want to tear you down and stand tall with your head held high for what you are doing now and in the future. God Bless You!

the hardest part of this is that my sisters daughter is 15 and pregant by a guy thats 22 and i feel that its karma for me trying to help a girl understand what she was doing was wrong and be cause of this im now fighting the tears and the pain with people killing So in the states my adopted family telling me im not wanted in the same state as them and them asking me why i dont talk to them more when all they do is tell me im a mistake and im not worth even coming home for two weeks once a year i have not been home in two years stuck in a small ass town in ks and reading about the new laws that now will force me to stay in my apartment . and not come out at all and every one knowing who i am even if i move theres no way of a new start . going through class and being truthful about what happened with the girl i live less then a block from a school im happy im not in prison in ks it was part of my ple that 5 year camunity corections / probation . The sad thing is with all the helpful insight this group give i still feel sick to my stomach cause the truth is i was molested as a child while in state custdy and in foster care . and my girl friend at the time was the girls cusine and we where talking on face book about why she was doing what she was doing and cause i asked her if she wanted to come over and talk about how she was feeling they said that theres was intent and cause i asked her questions about way she was looking at gay porn at her age .they said i was groming her and i took the first plea to get out of jail .

Tibaker, You will find someone to love and accept you. Look at all the people on this board. Shoot, my own husband abused our daughter, yet due to God, he has helped us all to forgive him and give him a second chance. Every day, he proves that he is not the same man he was before he was arrested, confirming we made the right decision.

I have met others who began relationships with a SO, and are quite happy with their new partner, and they deal with the reprocussions of having a loved one on the registry, because they love them and see that they are not the person who committed the offense.

I'm sorry you had that experience as a child. It sounds like you really need to go talk to someone to help you deal with all of this. There must be some social service or church that offers this help. You are out of jail now and have the freedom to move forward with your life. Go seek out the help you need to let go of hurts, forgive people, forgive yourself. Let go of your past, take what God has given you and make the best of it. Don't let your past determine your future. Let us know what positive steps you have taken. We are here for you.

Tibaker: Call the Safe Helpline at 877-995-5247 the number will connect you with someone who knows what you are going through and can offer help and support. Please call/ get in touch with these folks.

Delayed hopelessness/ depression stemming from your own childhood sexual assault is debilitating.
I know you were only trying to help someone else when you got tagged as a sex offender, but you need help in healing your own childhood wounds first. No woman can "solve" you problems for you but you can find community and hope and people who understand because they too have "walked a mile" in you shoes.

Male Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse offers specific help ( link is http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php) If you don't want to call this Male Survivor link offers a discussion forum much like Daily Strength but as the title says, Male Survivor is specifically for men who were molested as children (or men who were sexually assaulted as adults) There you can speak openly with each other men about the difficulties they and you are face as adults. Go to:

Male Survivor http://www.malesurvivor.org/news-and-events.html
Male survivor: National Organization Against male Sexual Victimization
4768 Broadway #527 New York, NY 10034 www.malesurvivor.org
There is also a family forum if any family member on Daily Strength is dealing with the after effects of Male sexual victimization.

My brother was molested by our father as a child. He has been plagued with depression and feelings of shame and hopelessness all his life and has tried to commit suicide several times when paralyzed by fears that he might be "just like our father" paralyzed him with shame and doubt.