I recently posted that I just found out my bf of 3 years is a so. I am so devastated, I think of this all day long, I cant eat and I constantly go from.being okay to crying just to think of all this. I am so in love with him.he has been a great man to me we have had our fights but we always try our best to stay together. I understand why he didnt tell me before but the reason why I cant find peace basically is just the thought of the future but most of all my family.
My last relationship was with an older man that worked with me I was 19 and he was 37, it is a long, sad and pointless story the thing is I was in a "relationship" with him for over 3 years. Which wasn a real relationship cuz he had someone else which I didnt know about in the beginning but later when I found out couldnt leave him. After I realized I would never have a real life with him cuz he wasnt willing to commit I walked out and left everything behind, but I did have a diary where I would write my feelings. That diary helped me cuz I didnt have anybody to talk to and was my way to get everything out. After a year passed I had already moved out from.my mothers and was doing extremely well. One day my mother decided to clean the room and foud my diary, she read it of course. She always wanted us to b virgin until we got married and it was a shock for her to read the very sexual things I wrote. She called me and said horrible things to me that I will never forget. She said I was sick and that my sister who is my roommate should get out of the apartment that we shared cuz I was gonna get her sick.
I just felt like garbage and talked to my bf about this and thanks to his support I was able to move on. I didnt speak to my mother for a whole year cuz I was so hurt.
Now my mother and I are talking again and she seems so happy that I found my bf she and my dad just want me to get married asap cuz they consider that it is a sin to have sex without being married. I too have been wanting to get married to my bf I recently turned 27 and he is 25.
Now that I know his past though it seems so hard for me to even breathe here I was thinking I had a normal relationship with a wonderful man and that I was gonna have a family with him and just b happy now I found out that as a baby he was molested and when he was 17 he let his little step sister touch him. I have talked to his family about this as I mentioned on my other post they fully support him and told me that because of his abuse he was still a child when he did that and his father was trying to get him help but then the police waited until he was 21 to charge him and that he regrets how the whole thing was approached and that he thinks thats unfair. The mother of the victim told me that she doesn't hold nothing against my bf and that he didnt do nothing irreparable to her daughter and that she loves him as he was her son.
My bf wasnt suppose d to b registered for life but since he missed one of the counseling cuz he didnt have the money and wouldnt ask for it he is now on the registry for life. His probation is about to b over on November and im thinking Im willing to give it a shot at least until hes done with probation so that he doesnt mess up cuz all the stress of a break up, he was so scared cuz the probation officer said he wanted to make sure his employer knew the details of his conviction and my bf was so scared he was gonna lose his job. He talked to his boss and the boss said everyone makes mistakes and basically he will not lose his job.
My big concern is my sister who is 21 is living with me and my apt and my bf comes over 3 nights a week, I know when my mother finds out about all this wont ever forgive me because she will think I put her in danger. And if she reacted like that with a stupid diary what is she gonna say about this she probably never forgive me.
Please I need some advice, my bf is doing so well in the years we have been together he never drinks he is not violent he has never forced me to have sex, we have a perfectly normal relationship until I found out about the registry.